Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

Final Post

2009-07-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

AM TOTALLY INSPIRED BY AIK's TOTALLY COOLIOS BLOG SO I'M DEFECTING TO

EnlistedMan.tumblr.com

2009-06-19T10:36:00.001-07:00

Love You Anyway; They need all they can find

2009-01-27T02:19:00.001-08:00

HAHAHAHHA. look what i found. hahahahaha, yes its Boyzone of the 90s. Crucify me, but i actually kinda like this song, anyway. but it seems like the blond guy, with slightly longish hair, seems to be the only one singing. and i thought, maybe if they changed their name, and kicked everyone out, it would be alright. TILL, they started dancing. CRINGE ALONG WITH ME! hahaha, they should have just left the dancing to the girls. hahaha, anyway, still a pretty nice song. (but with lots of ample choice words to mock their passe-ness)

I don’t get it, I really don’t get it
I try to walk away but my feet won’t let me
I don’t get it, I just don’t get it
I try to walk away but my feet won’t let me

(I guess they really don't get it. and hahaha. the feet as a personnification/metaphor for record label producers?) hahaha

ENJOY

piercing and tattoos: the debate

2008-11-30T05:16:00.000-08:00

OKAY, the following article is NOT written by me; its written by Brent MacDonald of Lion Tracks Ministries. (c) 2002.
http://www.liontracks.org/roarlion/nlbody.htm

anyways, the funny thing is that this article was found by my dad, who went online in search of a good and reasonable stand on this issue. As such, i stumbled upon this one day, and found it to be really logical, objective and most of all, "right" in the eyes of God. its one thing to be legalistic and the other to follow God's laws and rules. however, certain things have often been made far-fetched through cultural paradigms, personal agendas and simply old-fashioned legalism. anyway, take a read, and feel free to tag/comment on your views, if any. (the bolded parts are a tiny bit more important)

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Whether body piercing and tattoos are right for a Christian is very much a topic of debate in many circles. Not surprisingly, teens comprise the bulk of inquires we have received — often looking for something to use in combat with a parent who has already decided the family position.

To examine the issue from beginning to end, we need to first consider if there are clear (in context) Bible passages that rule out these practices. Make sure you read the whole article (and, as always, the Bible references), or you'll miss much of what this article is about.

Some Christians, who believe that these practices are always wrong, hold up the verse...

Leviticus 19:28 "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.’” NIV

... as saying that all cuts on your body (piercing) and tattoos are wrong. Simply put, that passage does not say that. It specifically warned the Israelites to not follow the common practice in the area of cutting your body or marring it (tattoos) in honor of the dead; whether a person or a demon god who is spiritually dead (see also Deuteronomy 14:1, 1 Kings 18:28, Jeremiah 16:6). Some cultures still practice this. In fact, while much of that chapter deals with points of law showing God’s Holiness and sinful practices, many items listed in that chapter where part of the ceremonial law, which was fulfilled in Jesus (Ephesians 2:14-16). That’s why we don’t have to worry any longer about “not wear(ing) clothing woven of two kinds of material. (Lev 19:19)” and “not cutting the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard. ( Lev 19:27),” which is in the verse right before.

Lest anyone goes as far as to try and use Mark 5:5 (as some do), as proof that cutting your body is wrong, this demon possessed person was doing it with an intent to injure and cause pain. Anyone who has an unnatural fascination with cutting themselves or trying to hurt themselves in anyway is in need of help (this could be with sharp objects, or in the form of bulimia or anorexia). It is possible that some who get tattoos and body piercing (especially in excess or very tender spots) fit into this category. This is a principle expressed indirectly in many places in Scriptures, that love of one’s self is natural (see Matthew 22:39, Galatians 5:14, James 2:8, 1 Sam 18:3). This would make hatred of (or want to harm) one’s self unnatural.

Instead of an absolute command on this whole issue, as with many other areas, the Bible does give principles that can (and should) be applied. A few of them are...

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

The bottom line in everything we do needs to be, does it glorify God? Needless to say, many messages on tattoos are obviously not to glorify God. Another question you could ask is, regardless of the message, will that sagging tattoo still glorify God when I’m old?

If the piercing or tattoo is being done in an unsafe manner, or in a place that encourages infection, one needs ask how this would be potentially glorifying to God as well. Piercing of tongues and cheeks have been medically shown to fit into this category, even causing long term damage to teeth.

If any of this is being done out of rebellion (against society, parents, etc.) it cannot be glorifying to God. All rebellion is an offense to God...

1 Samuel 15:23a For rebellion is like the sin of divination...

If it’s being done out of vanity, once again it will not be glorifying to God (and this includes earrings)... {em: note vanity is different from wanting to looking good, as opposed to being obessesed with your looks}

1 Peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

This passage in 1 Peter is not saying that all nice hairdos, clothes, and jewelry are wrong, rather they become so if you have them out of pride and vanity. An overriding question always has to be, “what’s your motive?” God judges motives and actions...
Proverbs 16:2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD.

While some will say that I am soft on this issue, I cannot hold up, in God’s name, a rule that He did not. To do so is legalism, which so many fall into (Colossians 3:20-23). What is permissible and actually commanded by Scriptures is that parents are to care for their children. In like manner, children are to obey their parents “in all things. (Colossians 3:20)” So, that being said, if a parent says no (regardless of the reason), a child is to obey. It becomes wrong simply because the parent has said so and to go against it is to enter into rebellion (which we have already touched on).

While some single out earrings as being okay, while frowning upon other piercings and even multiple ear piercings, or even ear piercings on guys, the same principles still apply. The Bible no more speaks of one earring, multiple earrings, or guys versus girls on this topic. Ultimately they become cultural items which may vary from one culture to another and not all cultural items are bad. In Bible times earrings were quite common and also worn by men (Exodus 35:22, Numbers 31:50, Judges 8:24 [men], Song 1:10, Ezekiel 16:11-12 [note Ezekiel references a nose ring too!]). For another glance at Biblical body piercing for a cultural purpose, examine Deuteronomy 15:16-17 and Exodus 21:5-6.

As a final personal remark, I’ll mention that I know some Christians, male and female, who have earrings that are very tasteful, even as I know some who have far worse. Sadly, some people have ended up going through life with irreversible regrets, something even more common amongst those with tattoos.
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NEW YEAR RESOLUTION(S)

2008-11-23T08:10:00.000-08:00

well, technically it's not a new year, but who's counting right? anyway, this gonna be an update of all that's happened thus far, and also a resolution for the next few months.

firstly, THANK GOD! for helping through that dastardly thing called the A LEVELS. truely HE is everpresent in ALL my papers, and that without HIM, i would have given up after History SEA. anyway, what was most interestingly funny was that during my A LEVELS, i felt LESS stress that i did when i was in school. irony, no? haha, truely i rue the day that the teachers try to take claim for my good results (which i'm claiming as a promise by the Mercy of God); they have not done much for my academia since day 1. so they can go like be all uppity and hoity-toity as they usually are; seriously the teachers that teach me in SAJC are nothing compared to what i got in VS. like for my VS teachers, like MR KHOO! (pure history), MDM ERNIE (e and a maths), MDM NABILAH (form teacher), and others, they are levels way above my teachers in SA. maybe MS K (lit.) and MRS GOH (KI), could do a little good in terms of teaching; but personal-wise, ALL my SA teachers were horrible. the only saving grace of SA's teachers were my Council teachers, like MS HUANG, MS LEE!, MR CHONG, etc. haha, they are so understanding and all; my curriculum teachers are almost arrogant, stuck-up and totally uninitiated into the life of a JC kid. they treat us children with the IQ of -150, and always insult/mock/humiliate/provoke/irritate us in more ways than one. its good that they want to keep a teacher-student distance, but there's no need to do so in such a manner. anyway, thank GOD its all over; soorry for the rambling on anyway.

what's more important in that mumble-jumble is the sole fact: trust in GOD, and in yourself; though THEY (SA teachers) might get you down, or think you're good-for-nothing, always have faith and continue to do the things of GOD, and all things will follow.

a little testimony: for almost all my exams, i had to SPOT due to the lack of time/energy/motivation. i know its the worst exam attitude, probably a result of my O LEVEL experience. i was kinda depressed and being all retarded during my end of Sec 4 year, and was quite ready to flunk my Os. but GOD and his amazing mercy saved my ass, and delivered me to a 9point. sooo, i guess maybe this time round i got a little complacent with GOD, or maybe i just was too far away to see GOD in this picture. my first paper, SEA HISTORY was horrible and horrendous. i only could do like two of the three essay questions; had to like do something with the third, and i didn't get to finish my SBQ. and this was the paper i studied for MOST, cos its' the first (though even so, it's not a lot).BUT, for the next few papers, GOD gave me such a peace, and assurance that i could do my paper, and feel happy about it. take for example, ECONS! i only studied on MON night and TUES morning for my TUES econs essay paper, and i could do all my papers. haha, also, i stupidly went to borrow TWO library books on MON after LIT, and read both by TUES night. (the same week). retarded right? now for fear of people calling me a boast, i'm only boasting about God's goodness and mercy; it has nothing to do with me, except for me being the vessel of God's miracle.

this is because, if you knew me throughout JC, it would never occur to ANYONE to peg me as an A student; far from it.

so here's more hoping, praying, believing with faith for good results; and even more so, a scholarship to wherever GOD wants me to go. this might seem like such a different EM from before, but trust me, freedom + GOD does wonders to anyone, hawha.

anyway, this few days have been such a blessing for me; everythings looking up for a bright few months, so i decided to also do a checklist/resolution.

(it no order, yet)

1. buy my ukelele, and become a pro player
2. finally learn more chords on the guitar other than G,D,Em and C, and play them in a melody
3. learn french/spanish/hebrew from JAN onwards
4. go and start writing stuff
5. swim, gym and run regularly to transform skinny chicken to buff KFC (look good, taste good)
6. read all the books i want and have to
7. persuade my parents to let me do a motorcycle licence
8. go look and buy a good DSLR
9. get a MACBOOK, black in colour
10. reguarly update my blog
11. get a proper job for once
12. plan and go overseas with the peeps (phuket, tioman, some beach..)
13. wake up BY 9 everyday (to make the most of my day)
14. restart drawing, painting, art-ing
15. be nice to everyone, esp my parents
16. start saving money
17. jam regularly with the peeps
18. dye my hair
19. learn something new, like diving or wake-boarding
20. get a time-machine so i can get a free four months again. (repeat)

hahah, so i'm just gonna enjoy life, relationships, and try to strike out again as Christian, son, friend, acquaintace, and human being. as a rival school says, CARPE DIEM.

have fun you guys, hope to see you around.

SEVEN TO DEATH

2008-10-24T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how i got to this point of my life. 18 years past, and the As loom large, as in next week LARGE. And i'm so not prepared to be honest.

ON a completely different note, i went to sulynnnn's play, a remake of Kuo Pao Kun's the Prince and I, and i must say it was not too badly done. i haven't seen the original so i wouldn't know the comparison. but good job nonetheless kiddo.

i guess when we care for the wrong things, caring can be futile, and maybe even bad.

so i guess i should just not study?

haha.

i wish.

where's my little rose to protect?

Last Stretch

2008-10-08T05:45:00.000-07:00

As usual, it's been a while since my last post. Blogging for me is utterly sporadic, random and spur-of-the-moment. By anyways, tomorrow is Farewell. Unfortunately, the melancholy of it all is quite undermined by the fact that tomorrow is not the actual last day of school. In fact, we have econs and lit on friday, so why the hell is it called Farewell and the LAST day, when we still have to come back for so many lessons in the next few weeks prior to our As. On another note, its still sad to realise that our journey in JC is coming to an end. Though i definitely will not miss most of the teachers (can't think of any), it will be hard to say goodbye to all the friends i've made in the short two years. Though i've been such a whiner to all my friends about my time in SA, thanks to all those who encouraged me through the hard times and especialyl when i wanted to leave and all. thanks for sticking with the complaining, etc. To my class, council, OGs, non-organisation related friends, et al; it's been a great time knowing you guys. It is truly the people who make SA, so thank God for all of you.

The Bare Truth

2008-09-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Life's changed. For the better.
Last Saturday for YA (young adults) service, we had the Praise and Worship Extravanganza night, and boy was i glad i went. For the past weeks/months, life's been terrible and my walk had faltered so much. Like backslided. I mean i didn't go that havoc or anything, but it was just really different from before. i know that this is nothing really interesting to some of you, but my experience and my life in God is really nothing short of amazing, and that i really feel compelled to give this testimony. I guess it started from before my Os. Before that i was in the YM committee and in leadership all that. I guess i was pretty ONS, in a good way, and that my walk was good, consistent and i heard from God regularly. But something changed along the way. I'm not too sure what it was, but i guess it was because of the people around me who began to fade away. I would hate to say that i was influenced by them but i guess to a large extent it's true. I've always thought that i wouldn't be the one who would be pulled away when others leave but i guess i wasn't strong enough. And i was so ready to leave church. I mean it was a pretty low point in my life, like i broke up with my ex, was having to deal with really crap prelim results, and the impending Os, and the stress from having to deal with both seven-day-a-week church commitments and the problems at home at that time was pretty overwhelming for my little 16 year old mind. I was so ready to walk away from it all, and taste a bit of the outside. I guess having grown in such a pious and "religious" family from young made me a little curious to wonder what i would have been like in another life. But God, i guess, really is that omnipotent. A deliverer in the form of my mentor Isaac, had a vision of a boxing match that pictured me struggling with God. And all this without having told him anything except how stressed i was. He said, that i was on the verge of a spiritual death and that the struggles with God is killing me, and that if i left, it would be the final straw. I know this sounds a bit morbid and scary, and i was quite fearful at that time, i realised that deep down, God loved me so much to want to see me leave. And now, older, i know that if i had left, i would have never gone back. And that i guess would been pretty terrible knowing how my life would just have gone downhill down there with the kind of people i hang out with. So instead of leaving, i stepped down from leadership and focused on music ministry. I went to Church regularly, and did the "normal Christian" things. but i guess to an extent, i felt really empty, not like before. I guess as i grew older, i grew more jaded, more cyncial and harder to feel. Without going to much detail or throwing a sob story, i guess one of my greatest weaknesses is in the area of love. I mean i know that people and God love me, but the problem i guess over the years, each time i get hurt or something, i constantly put up walls around my heart. its not a trust issue, rather i get so numb sometimes that i don't feel love or loved, or that i give love. like i know my parents really really love me, but its just that, knowledge. and i now, i know the walls are still up. each time during praise and worship, i cry out to God, i cry out to feel His love, but often i feel that tiny little bit before it gets sweeps away. and i know that its cause of all the walls i put up, and that i prevent God from reaching into my heart. i guess it could be that i'm afraid that i would get consumed by it, and that i'm afraid that if i put my heart in it, and that if it doesn't work out, i would get really hurt from it. and guess, that this time round, going back, i'm really trying to pry out my heart and lay it before Him. and well tonight has just been awesome. i was just doing a little mini p and w, and QT at the same time, i singing How He Love Us, and like i really really felt the peace and assurance that comes from His love for the first time in such a long while. If you haven't watched the video in the youtube section, please do, and watch the WHOLE thing. cos it's like super awesome. the girl, Kim Walker even says in one part about how some people have not encountered the Love of God, how He wants to encounter them. And how the Love of God changes us, and we're never the same after encountering the Love of God. and wow. i pray pray pray, that this is not some short term change. my "grandpa" who's my mentor's mentor, was saying before that no matter how deep i get into a hole, God will always be able to pull me out. and i guess, that this time round, the really earth-core deep place i got myself into, God has delivered me out of.

"the wickedness of the wicked man will not cause him to fall when he turns from it" Ezekiel 33:12

2008-09-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

New blog skin; realised the narrowing limits of my IT skills and how its so freaking complicated.
On a brighter note, it's the mid of the much needed hols, and the mid of the f-ing prelims. Anyway, life's been better; a little.

Thinking of taking up smoking. Heard it relieves stress. Somehow it's smelling nicer.

I'm lying.

Anyway, it's the f-ing stress that's been getting to me. Dunno why, but for the first time in my entire academic life, school's been a real pain in the ass. Coupled with the stupid shizz thats been going on, it seems God is out to get me (though i know otherwise). I've been really really freaking faraway, and like what Rach felt, I feel like an outsider. I went on Saturday a couple weeks back, and like i was just standing freaking alone. I know it's cause the rest were busy and stuff, but compared to like years before, i would be able to talk to ANYONE. Times have changed, and maybe, we've grown up and grown apart. Both with the people and with God. Crisis.

I'll probably get a flood of concerned messages, but i guess its time to take it slow and alone. Though i said i felt like an outsider, the scary thing is that it feels alright. Loneliness as much cursed and feared, seems okay. Maybe i just don't care anymore. And thats what scares me most.

For those peeps who've been asking, i'm okay alright. I know i've been (and probably still) in a bad state and all, but thanks for your concerns and all ok.

Life's just one big mess, and we live to unravel it.

2008-08-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

I know this blog is kinda, like dead. Well, yeah art imitates life, and my writing, and my own brain is pretty much in the deadlock called life,school and exams. Well, writing is escape, and hopefully writing will soon be of penned thoughts rather pent-up stuffed-up "knowledge".

BE RIGHT BACK!

2008-07-28T06:59:00.001-07:00

its really pissing when the teachers still pick on you precisely because you WERE a student council exco.

useless definitions.

even more useless teachers.

2008-07-01T02:44:00.001-07:00

anyway exams are over now. yeah. finally.

my generation

2008-06-26T00:49:00.001-07:00

(disclaimer: do not read if you STARE at the juice box when it said CONCENTRATE. haha ok just kidding. ripped it off Facebook.)

You know if I see another one of those hoity-toity remarks in the newspaper/magazine about this youtube/myspace/insert-popular-culture generation again, I swear I'm gonna blow.

I mean seriously, this is the new and evolved racism and discrimination. Forget nigger or chingchongChinaman, the new white is black shit schmits. Yes pick on us. Each time I see that freaking phrase, it's usually followed or preceded by a negative impression of kids these days. "oh you know this ~ generation, they are all bout the (insert any form of youth-related activity/passion/hobby). where has all the cerebral action gone too? I mean these days, the movies they watch are all action and bangs, and booms and........." you get what I mean. You might be thinking, this guy is seriously warped and making a mountain of a molehill. But hey blame me from standing up for our people.

To a large extent, these indeed are things that characterize our generation. Myspace, Youtube, Friendster, Facebook, etcetera etcetera. But ever thought the idea of why they use these words coupled with the word generation. I hate generalizations; they are often unfair and untrue for the majority. Such as "kids these days". Yes I'm an anti-adults-who-hate-or-pick-on-teens kinda of guy. Generally I hate people who make assumptions/perceptions/remarks about groups of people that they 1. don't understand, 2. don't know anyone from that particular group and 3. make on a single or few encounters. Here's a little logics lesson. Basically, there are two types of LOGIC. Deductive logic is from the general (premises) to the particular (conclusion). For example (which is used a lot in Philosophy or KI):

Premise 1. All Men are Mortals

Premise 2. Plato is a man.

Conclusion . Therefore Plato is a Mortal.

Simple right? Induction is the opposite. Inductive logic is from the particular to the general. Meaning, if I have seen 10,000 or 100,000,000 white swans, I could inductively conclude that all swans are white. While this is true for most cases (as we use induction most of the time), it is not always right for there are black swans. In this case, 3. in the hate people group, they would fall under biased induction, in which a certain event/action done by a single member of a group is then implicated onto all the members of the group. Here we can derive two things. Firstly, do all teens watch Youtube? or take part in Myspace? or have MTV? Flawed Induction. Secondly, if there were two million teenager Ah Bengs/Lians in the world, does it mean all teens are Ah Bengs/Lians?

The point I'm trying to get at is that we aren't defined solely by what we do, and definitely not by what others do. I think it's an unfair indicator of our generation to pin something like "teenage smoking" on all of us, and say "kids these days". I mean I could be studying for A&C and P&P now for Lit tomorrow, but will I be a "muggertoad" just because I did so? Here, it's not just those few adults who do so; we are at fault. Now, generalizations are not all bad. We use them all the time. Even the previous sentence was a generalization. It's convenient and useful in helping us make sentences about activities that most if not all people partake in. However, the line needs to be drawn at irrationality on people's part. This is where my earlier charge of "this is the new racism" comes from. Bias and prejudice is both a cause and effect of irrational induction. By forming preconceived notions that are flawed or untrue are the basis of racism or any other form of discrimination. I do not believe racism is innate, but rather a consequence of the environment around us and the way we think. Though some scientific reports have reportedly concluded that racism is partly biological, I believe firmly, whether the reports are true or not, discrimination is a conscious thought that becomes a subconscious paradigm. The Indian man who has a funny accent does not mean all Indian have funny accents (and perhaps why we think its funny it's probably due to cultural differences in that to us, it's abnormal or strange. they probably think the same of us) . I love racist jokes, no doubt most people do. But this ain't no hypocrisy. Discrimination is the unfair treatment of groupings of people based on bias and prejudice notions. And I deem the unfair generalization of our generation a discrimination which serves to not only undermine our generation and what we do/could do, but as a platform for the breeding of such discrimination.

Discrimination ain't no lone soul; it begets it itself through speech and action and through common prejudices. Imagine this scenario; Aunty A who does not like teenagers after a traumatic incident involving a teenager robbing her of her precious LV bag and Aunty B who is neutral (in the truest sense of the word despite full knowledge it may never exist).

Aunty A: You know ah, that day, this stupid boy, stole my bag.

Aunty B: Oh, were you hurt?

Aunty A: Nope, but he took my LV bag which cost $3000. Kids these days are getting from bad to worse. Like that also want to steal my bag.

Aunty B: But it was only one kid, why blame all?

Aunty A: I tell you, all of them are the same one lah. All up to no good. Look at the girl, see how her skirt is so short?

Aunty B: But your skirt is shorter than hers................

And you see how one things lead to another, and how sometimes, they themselves practice double standards.

Now this ain't no call for arms against adults nor those hate-rs. Just my venting of exam frustration and sparked off by some stupid newspaper article. I like our generation. We are different, have different values, believe different things. I don't think it's right for people to enforce what they think or believe on us. Different generations have different values. I do believe in universal moral standards and codes of conduct that should be appropriately followed at certain times, but I draw the line at criticizing others for their short skirt/long hair. But on another note, difference in values is normal and part and parcel of evolving societies and cultures. I mean, girls go to school, afro-Americans are allowed to sit on the bus, and all that are signs of changing times (I know it's not a recent phenomenon but it's just an example). As such discrimination evolves into subtler forms, through the use of non-offensive words to mean otherwise. So its time we learn not only to stand up for what we believe, but take charge of what we do feel for. Apathy is just so passe. But also I think we are equally at fault in not being understanding of previous generations. I'm certain years down the road when we have our own kids, I'm sure I'll ask my daughter to change out of that mini-skirt. I guess it's not just a matter of perspective or age, but rather inner beliefs and paradigms which are being sculpted by the environment in which live in.

(Disclaimer, this next section is a step away from the previous logical argument made.)

But then again. Think what you want, believe what you want, feel what you want. At the end of this mini-essay, I guess I really don't care. I used to care for what is being said and the unjust things; but I guess sometimes I care too much/think too much about small little shitty things and it just makes me unnecessarily upset. So I guess I shouldn't care at all; and perhaps that's why we don't care about anything.

Jadedness is the new apathy. Yes I'm a hypocrite. But hey, I'm a teenager.

- You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same.

AWESOME GOD

2008-06-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

This video is awesomely crazy. I literally could feel God's presence and His awesome power even through a short vid. A little background; i think it's a collaboration between Planetshakers and Hillsongs. Pastor Mike Gug who contracted like cancer, is singing Healer here which he wrote on the day he found out about it. It really makes my hair stand and like tears were like forming constantly in my eyes. It's those kind of videos were you watch and you know somehow your life will never be the same again. Wish i was there in the congregation. Must watch!

TEN or maybe a HUNDRED things about ME.

2008-06-15T07:44:00.001-07:00

Another way to cheat by not really updating my blog.

If I were a month I would be: JUNE! (*hint especially the 28th! haha)

If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday

If I were a time of day I would be: 1313 ( I just like the number, haha)

If I were a planet I would be: Mercury. Too bad, Pluto.

If I were an animal I would be: A wolf (who isn't big or bad)

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Biting the ass of anyone who sits on me (a nice comfy sofa)

If I were a historical figure I would be: Myself! (or Elijah)

If I were a liquid I would be: Cranberry Juice

If I were a tree I would be: dying from the Global Warming (a Treellionaire. haha, ok lame joke)

If I were a flower/plant I would be: still dying from Global Warming (a Venus Flytrap)

If I were a kind of weather I would be: affected by Global Warming ( a windy, cloudless day)

If I were a car I would be: GLOBAL WARMING! (but still, a BMW M6 Convertible. I'm a bit more realistic.)

If I were a musical instrument I would be: the UKELELE!

If I were an emotion I would be: Confusion. *zaps you in between your eyes*

If I were a color I would be: Black

If I were a fruit I would be: Non-existent due to GLOBAL WARMING! (ok sorry last one. erm, a Granny Smith Apple)

If I were a sound I would be: The wind blowing against trees or water against rocks

If I were an element I would be: Water or if we're talking science, Hydrogen (yeah same difference)

If I were a song I would be: Creep redone by Lukas Rossi (nah kidding. A holier Second Chance by Hillsongs United)

If I were a movie I would be: C.R.A.Z.Y (wanted Little Miss Sunshine, but thought it was a little too misleading)

If I were a book I would be: Interworld by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reeves

If I were a food I would be: Kobe Beef Steak ( I ain't no cow, but it's superduperly REPORTED to taste awesome)

If I were a place I would be: Great Barrier Reef (or another great beach in the world)

If I were a number I would be: 13

If I were a word I would be: AWESOMELYBETTERTHANYOUINMOREWAYSTHANONEWORDCANEXPRESS

If I were an object I would be: MY BED. cos it's the best bed in the world. (see, can't fault me for oversleeping!)

If I were a body part I would be: My rock-solid abs (or a pair of eyes)

If I were a facial expression I would be: Expressive

ENVIOUS

2008-06-11T22:26:00.001-07:00

I really really love this song, which Jason Mraz just redid (he did the original too, but this is like a fresh new take on it)

And gosh, how I wish I could live my life like that. Just my sunglasses, a nice cap, great beaches and no worries. Man, is that the life.

AND here's a few more songs that I picked up recently. (including covers)(haha yes I'm cheating so that I don't have to write a real post and yet still be updating)

What Hurts the Most by Boyce Avenue (Original: Rascal Flatts/Cascada)

Listening to Freddie Mercury by Emery (and yes I like screamo)(though my parents are giving the what-in-the-world-are-you-listening face)

Hips Don't Lie by the Fray (original: Shakira)

CELL MATEES

2008-05-11T06:47:00.001-07:00

Awhile ago, I posted some pictures of nice memories and the people dear to me. AND I completely left out (really unintentionally, cos I had intended to put them in) my lovely cell matees. AND, really it's such a crime cos' these are the people who really watch out and care for me, especially our crazy cell leader RACHael! I And (in no particular order) the rest; Aikey thanks since the beginning cos when I came to YA as a non-member of YM (like after stepping down from comm), you really became a friend and like a brother to me!; Lukey for the times since being in Gabsy's cell till now, for being my granduncle and you really are one hell of an uncle; Nic, it's weird seeing you as a cell member, but as a friend and a sister, you're real dear to me and hopefully we haven't lost all the great memories these many years!; Gaisu, well you always be my first best friend for those many childhood years and it's been great knowing your crazy self all these years; Joseph for your bald NS commando head and for the times where you seem to be somewhat fatherly, other than that... just kidding; Alena, for your great sense of wit and lovely bone structure, haha, and for all the things I think we share in common; Rachel and your awesome encouraging spirit; Isaac, my first ever mentor and all that, thanks for everything these years and without you, you know what would have happened, thanks so much dude, and thats really an understatement yeah. AND those not in the picture and those who were in the cell before, thanks for making cell sucha wonderful place to be in and really like my second family. (AW, I'm like so mushy I can't believe it)

The Beauty of Maths

2008-05-10T23:18:00.001-07:00

I don't really read chain-mails; usually just delete them, but my inner geek somehow had some provocation to go ahead, and this is pretty cool.

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...
101%
>From a
strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to.

GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help

answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

UBER GEEKNESS right? (cool, but I think someone out there doesn't have a life)

2008-05-03T03:20:00.001-07:00

Well, this two weeks have been great. I was walking to school the other day with Rachel, and I thought of this theory about school life. For every two great (meaning slack) weeks, follows two intense weeks. And as stupid as it sounds, it's been quite true for the past month plus so far, and will stay true for the next two weeks. The first two weeks I realized this trend, was really sucky because work was piling up like crazy and it was in the midst of Selection Camp. But the two weeks following that, which includes this week, was pure bliss. There was like ONE test, and so little homework; like as in normal workload but I managed to complete all my assignments and thus not owe any teacher anything. However, as with the Parent Meet Teacher meeting repercussions, my new timetable (which I like had to write for myself) really sucks; four papers this week and loads of work to do (like 4 Econs essay outline, and so on). So oh well, it's like 22 days more to the holidays. And some how, my teachers mostly seem nicer. WOW.

Culture Vulture

2008-04-24T09:56:00.001-07:00

I'm Peranakan, and proud to be so. I was in the you-know-where doing you-know-what and reading the Today papers, when I happened to come across a little column featuring PERANAKANS, sparked by the recent opening of the Peranakan Museum at Armenian Street. So a little background history of me. Both my mum (confirmed, double confirmed) and my dad (as far as he knows, he's kinda sure, but it's a bit too shady cos' he was brought up by his aunt) are Peranakans, and so is my brother (duh), cousins, grandparents (except one grandma I think), and so on. We are the quintessential Peranakan family, all except one thing, we don't eat Peranakan food at home. Now my mum is Peranakan Chinese-Malay; my Grandpa has Peranakan blood but is considered Malay, while my Grandma is the Peranakan exception. Unfortunately my mum only cooks Western, and I do really mean only. So all we eat (under her) is pasta, and the likes. My dad on the other hand is like so traditionally Chinese, and he cooks pretty good Chinese, though he mainly only cooks Chili Crab because he's quite lazy to cook. So till now, no Peranakan food (except occasional eat outs, and surprisingly my maternal Grandma's cooking. We have good belachan though). How sad is that right?

But anyway, I found the article really cool cos' it rang so so true. Cos of the foodie thing, I always felt not-very Peranakan even though I really do wear it loudly on my sleeve. But the article is so awesome, cos' it spelt out some common characteristics and behaviors of Peranakans and I felt like I was looking at a literary mirror.

1. "But some say Peranakans have unique features, such as bigger eyes, sharper facial features and a darker complexion that most Chinese". So a general no to the first and third, but a loud yes to the second. While I'm obviously sorely lacking in the anime-eyes department, my eyes can be extended to quite a large proportion, so we could count that as a half? As for the second feature, well, I myself think I have quite sharp features and in this case especially my eyes and cheeks. And I guess it's true cos' I remember a few years back when I told this older lady that I was Peranakan, she replied that she had thought so because of my sharp features. As for the third, I'm so freaking white la. But I think this is probably due to my Grandma cos' she, my mum, closest cousin and closest uncle are like almost albino la and contrastingly, my dad, brother and Grandpa are pretty dark. So fair is fair eh?

2."babas are truly mama's boys""They are all spoilt""Until today, all Peranakan men are lazy. They behave like kings." True.

3."Behind the veneer of propriety and solid work ethic, the Peranakans of yore were genuine party animals". Kinda parallels how guai and law-abiding I am in school, and like doing so much work in the SC, and yet to an extent being able to party still. (Not that I party la, but I mean have like loads of crazy fun)

4. "Young descendants speaks Singlish, English and a smattering of Mandarin (a totally-alien language to them)". SO so true. SO if you think you had it hard for Chinese, think about me! I guess my mum was still part of the older generation, cos she and my dad both speak "baba patois" (which is a Malay-based language that includes a bit of Hokkien) and so Mandarin was so totally "alien" for me. It was like my mum had no basic idea, that when I went to kindergarten, she had to pick up Mandarin along the way so that she could teach me. Even my stupid Chinese name which is so like a girl's, was given by my mum's ex (who became a really good friend)'s grandfather, who like took my name out of the dictionary based on nice meanings. Thanks a lot genius. Haha, anyway I got an E for Chinese! YAY!

5. "Their tendency to speak fast and their uncanny ability to swiftly change topics when they talk." Check. I guess if you know me, you would have probably encountered instances where I just mumble at lightspeed where no one understands me. And proving the second point, I would then change the topic. Haha. Love this point. Allows me to talk to myself without looking crazy. Haha.

6. "Occasionally, one has to mind-read as well". This is due to our tendency to think that the people we are talking to can hear or know our thoughts and then we talk to them on this assumption. Haha, especially in KI, WC always says that I tend to jump my thoughts; like when I was talking about Point 1, then I would think of counters and alternate views, then jump to like point 5 where I reach a conclusion on my part, and start talking about it like everyone knew the in-betweens. I must admit this is quite funny, cos' I had no idea that I was doing that at all till he told me. Haha, but I think my ability to mind-read is pretty poor as compared to my parents, cos' they love to say things out of a sudden like " You know the one that I met the other day when I was coming home..." and I would be like "what one"? But somehow like everyone else except my brother and I can like totally communicate seamlessly without asking "who is that". I'm like ! each time that happens.

Well I guess this was pretty boring for most other people, but I think I had fun doing it and analyzing myself as a Peranakan. And at the end of it all, I guess I do feel and behave like a Peranakan. Woohoo to us!

Reminisces

2008-04-23T02:02:00.001-07:00

Today was Sports Day, and I guess the fact that it would be my last Sports Day made me think of the people in my life, and how I would be so much (?) if I didn't have them. Short of emo, I took it as an opportunity to tinker around more with Photoshop. I know it doesn't look much but well, some were taken on my phone, so yeah, it's at best as it can get. And if you aren't here in any of the pictures, or you belong to a group but are not in, just know (so that I don't make too many enemies, haha) that I might have thought of you, haha.

Well, of course, what would I do without my class, oh class. 07A06 forever yeah. Even IF we come last, you're (one of the) first in my heart, and said with no irony.

Part of the 30th Student Council, I'm glad I got these people running beside me in the Exco, and especially the guys, and how we get along so well with our half-brother Amanda, haha. And yes, remember the "toilet break" on SC Bonding Day at Sentosa (top)?

My first-three-months-BFFs. (Top, LTR) Mas, Debbie and Me. Remember those good old days? And representing the rest of our ginormous clique, (Bottom, LTR) Liz, Shawn and Ning. Nat, if you see this, remember that YOU have to get our reunion organized, haha.

(Top, LTR) Wai Ying, Xiu Wen, Shaun, Chin Meng and Me plus not in picture Verine in KL. They represent the rest of the SC, and the great times we spent together. And of course not forgetting Calvin and Joseph, and the rest. The Bottom picture is of course of my beloved alma mater, and my class 4E. The sweet memories.

My bestie in school, Mr Yap Wei Chiang. Thanks a bunch. And at the Bottom, is childhood (lover) playmate Gracie-kins. Not only for our great friendship, but for everyone else in our huge clique; Gaius, the Bens, Nelkai, Vaness, Nicole, and the rest. Thank God for great friends through the years. It's been a great many years knowing you guys!!!

And of course Family. Though we aren't exactly the closest of close anymore, i'm glad to see you guys around still and well, it's memories isn't it.

Oh well.

Me and My Technicolor Tree

2008-04-16T08:01:00.001-07:00

Now isn't that just too cool? I downloaded Photoshop CS3, and it rocks to the core.

N-way. Here is a little formulae I just thought of to sum up my life.

School + Homework + Council = Infinity

Rest and Photoshop time = 1

Infinity - 1 = Infinity

So I guess you know who wins.

(PS: this blog has been comment-enabled; it's at the bottom of each post. just click on wanna have yours)

Apathy Homeopathy.

2008-03-18T03:11:00.001-07:00

We need you. You. You. To wake up.

Choice Quotes:

" So the time to do something is now, before you get bogged down, you know, like a life".

" Scratch that biological and sexual need. Safely, please."

" Become the ripple in the poisonous political pond that we are currently living in."

" So Robert F Kennedy said that. They killed him, so it goes."

And so it goes. Well of course, wake our generation up from the mindless business as usual. "I'm f*cking disappointed in you". So while he goes on being f-ing disappointed with our generation miles away in the Land of Liberty, I can't but help see the glaring parallels right here in our sunny little island. Other than that, it's kinda (surprisingly), too controversial for my small little mind to have any comment on. Enjoy, and get outraged/bored/disillusioned/inspired/pissed off/influenced. (I currently feel all of the above, so I've conveniently decided not to air my views)

And " I stay in so you can go out" so doesn't cut it.

On the other hand. Here is a video response that represents my other half of my thoughts. He kinda talks in a pretty retarded slow manner. But he makes sense, so listen.

Yeah, I only don't agree the "do it civilly" or "talk to leaders" and especially "write congress". Yeah and that's so gonna help. But of course, what's the "solution"?

"If you wanna get laid, go to a club". Haha. And this other video response is hilarious. I think here is the solution. Haha.

And something uber unrelated but utterly hilarious.

This could sum up our generation I guess.

"If he's gonna come in here, he's gonna kick my ass... Then I can kick his ass".

Happy studying people of the Block Test Zero One. It is two more days to go, woo to the hoo.

Rant Central

2008-03-11T08:52:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure whether its cause the impending exams or because I just trashed my computer opponents in a game of hearts (with 0 score no less), I feel in a rather rant-y mood .Take it as an assessment of life (mine in particular) since the beginning of the year. (DISCLAIMER:It's not all rants LAH. )( And it might be a bit childish or whatever, but I guess I need some place to get a load off my chest)( And And no deep musings/philosophical tidbits here, only real and honest narration) .

This year has sucked. Somewhat different, on so many levels. I've been called arrogant (by a teacher no less), made a new best friend, gotten admirer(s), got lost in love's conundrum and the list goes on. Not all are bad. Not all are good.

On the plus, WC is my new best mate, and of cos' there are certain connections to be made there (which the four of us know only). My love life (if there ever was one) is in the boondocks; terribly stale and stagnant. Imagine opening the fridge and smelling the deep pungence of expired milk/cheese/dairy product is probably the fragrance of said love life. Though there are many more new "eye candies" this year, I often feel more like a horny bastard in regaling my tales of interests to said best mate. Girls do abound in SA, and of course according to our very dear Mrs Tan, "it is for the male gaze". Chauvinistic as it may seem and sound, who doesn't appreciate a pretty face?

That said, it's been an entire conundrum as aforementioned. Too many flirts, too little love. The idea of rejection is a sore point I wish not to relive, and of course my life's tangle with commitment is one which I do not desire. Love is such an abstract concept for me, always have and always will be. I rarely feel loved and even rarely feel that I have loved. Both probably because of my jaded insensitivities, and numbed senses. I experience joy, pain, humiliation, anger and so on; but these base feelings are superficial and simple. Those that I crave (makes me sound like a perverted and desperate deviant) elude me. Of course, one could put in down to not trying much, and not putting effort into the situation at hand. But I guess, it's hard to take down so many layers and levels of walls put up for so long. Walls of past hurt, walls of insecurities, walls of resentment and walls of fear. Hitler would never be able to invade my heart.

And yes said teacher who made a groundless remark about me is of course our Other ~~dear~~ Lit. teacher. "You come off arrogant and proud, for someone who has nothing to be proud of". This rant is not out of resentment or whatever, but more of the larger issue at hand. This teacher and many others such as my History teachers are quite unbelievably my teachers. They are biased and prejudiced. This may seem such an offhand and groundless remark but trust me, it is no based on initial impressions, or the fact that they seem to have a bone to pick with me always. Reason being? I'm a Councilor. A god-damned bloody Councilor. With a capital C mind you. One said History teacher forewarned of the dangers of trying out for it, way before I even campaigned; a nice little scolding no less with his finger in my face mostly. Now I don't deny the "higher standards" that we should aim to achieve; but the bias and prejudice towards us are quite simply ridiculous and completely groundless. Even harmless teachers with harmless statements like "You must learn to cope with the busyness of Council activities and schoolwork". Advice, yes. Biased, of course. Now you may deem me biased for saying so, and of course I am. I'm a Councilor, and a "victim" here, so of course I'm bloody bias. But there is of course a tu quoque fallacy and we shall look deeper into the matter at hand of which I shall try to finally justify my stand. Take this case study. In the month of January, after Orientation, I (not speaking on the behalf of the entire council) have nothing much to do with Council work and all. In fact, nothing to do at all. However, it's wondrous to see how said teachers are able and without facts blame everything on heavy council activities. Furthermore, the event/occasion of which they are scolding/advising me is regarding issues that everyone, and I repeat everyone faces. But their biased and prejudiced manners on which they pin everything on to us, whether groundless or not, is quite unbecoming of teachers, who are expected to be impartial and having their facts. But instead, said teachers bitch about me in front of other teachers, who then without even having taught me or even come into contact with me, make groundless remarks about my character. Firstly, is it their jobs to be talking about my character in such a manner? Secondly, like what our Other Lit.teacher did finally realize is that she and the others don't know me. Thirdly, arrogance should not be mistaken for confidence. The former is the offensive display of superiority or self-importance, while the latter is the self-assurance of one's abilities. I know what I can and cannot do, and do not offensively display my superiority (if I even am "superior". I do think I'm a bit of an elitist though, but I guess in some particular areas only). Now, I here admit that sometimes I may appear proud and all, but I guess it's a misreading of overbearing confidence that arises out of insecurity. Like Nica (yes our lit. books are so very applicable), I often do feel the need to assert myself; in turn reassuring myself of myself. I know I'm definitely not an academic person, and I never even try to assert myself as one. So in what way would these teachers have reason to find fault with me, and deem me arrogant? So without being overly dismissive, I guess I just gotta watch myself more and at the same time not give a damn about these foos.

On the much brighter side of my life, there have been some romantic engagements these year. Admirers are one thing, so of course I'm looking for a more intimate and personal relationship. But because I have no idea how to face these admirers, (one because I have no idea why they like me, and second it's kinda embarrassing. not that I'm not flattered, but you know.) and because I just need a shoulder to cry on, or laugh together, this is a call-out to all interested applicants to call 1900-SAVE-EMMANUEL. On a more serious note, I do hope to get a special someone this year. Because even among all the friends, I do feel lonely sometimes. In the words of George my great ex- classmate and schoolmate now, "This void seems occasionally filled yet forever empty".

I do love my life. It's just that sometimes, it doesn't like me that much in return.

A Little Change

2008-02-12T01:45:00.000-08:00

well i decided to get a bit lighter in spirit and be more positive and changed to a somewhat gay-er blogskin, in both of its meanings. i don't really like the orange-green parts, like some primary school color pencil but oh well, at least its a nice picture.

THE BATTLE LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN

2008-01-25T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of playing nice.

ZOMG - My Humps

2008-01-20T05:59:00.000-08:00

zomg so uber-duber cute!

My Own Valentine.

2008-01-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

i love this song! don't you just feel in the mood of love?

perfect for a serenade.

Bite My Tongue - Or I Might Bite You

2008-01-16T22:01:00.001-08:00

THIS IS MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION, albeit uber late.

This song sums up the entirety of my goal this year. I'm quite sick of pointless arguments and meaningless debates. The futility of it all irritates/frustrates me. I mean for the love of god, shut the hell up if you have nothing to contribute and quit it with all those senseless, insensitive comments.

On the plus side, i will be less defensive aggressive. So tolerance is now my virtue.

I've realised all too recently the naive-ness of my people-relations belief. When i was much younger, i used to NOT have any people i disliked/hated and all that, and i thought that how great it was to be in that state of mind. But, how wishful was that thinking. I know it's such a pessimistic thing to say, but somehow maybe that's how life is. I've realised the list of people i dislike (none that i hate, yet?) have been growing longer. And the similarities between some of them do seem to suggest that i dislike certain characteristics and i'm predisposed to dislike the person. The following is a list of types of people i dislike, ranked in order of most disliked and so on. So before i shut up for the rest of the year, here is my tirade.

1. The Feminist, who is ultra-feministic and favourite sayings are "There are no cute boys in school AT ALL" and "OMG, are they like blind" (when relating to them that another girl likes you). I mean, what the hell. They are firstly not even the least pretty or good-looking, but have high high expectations for their counterparts. They ones i know, are short, very average-looking, whiny and feministic. And here they are dissing the entire male school population, as if they deserved better looks-wise. And and, regarding the second comment, what the hell too. Are they like jealous or something? Maybe they have never had someone crushing on them before. I mean i could go one forever, but in cases where i get insulted, i feel the nagging need to retaliate, and it is usually not very nice. And from then on, these little girls go on to complain to their gal pals in like fashions - *sniff sniff * " Emmanuel said i was uh-gly. Like omg, i'm like so hurt and all you know. I, was like so nice to him, and here he comes like..." Irritants i say. These girls are usually from All-Girls Schools. [If you know me well, (due to my Victorian heritage) i'm quite an advocate of single-sex secondary schools. We are USUALLY quite opinionated and more out-going than the run-of-the-mill kind of other students. There is no elitism in this statement as even neighbourhood single-sex schools produce similar people, so intelligence/academics is no factor. I believe it's the dynamics of the single-sex environment that makes people more open and interactive. This is not saying there are no people like these in mixed schools, and that mixed school students are no fun. Rather i think single-sex students are usually more loyal to their school, have stronger school spirit, etc] Anyway, the point is, i can't believe that these girls are so narrow-minded and socially retarded. It's like they studied in a nunnery or something and never seen a guy before.

2. The Insecure. Disclaimer before i go on : these are extreme cases. People in this category are constantly in need of assurance. They are often think that they're not good enough and incapable, etc. Self-deprecation is funny and all, but there is a limit to that. Take this example. This guy, called Sam (name has been changed, etc.) who is in many a girl opinion, is quite good-looking. After meeting one of The Feminists who put him down by saying that she felt he wasn't all that good-looking and couldn't see why so many girls like him, he started to mope around. He has no self-confidence, and always asks people to reassure him whether he did good or not. He always says he is not capable enough and etc., but in actual fact does well in them. Irritants too i say. I mean occasional reassurance is fine, cos' we are humans after all. But the constant need to do so, is quite a drain in our friendship. I mean i do like this guy and all, a bit boring but still not bad company. We are reasonably quite close, but his complete lack of self-confidence is quite a irritance. Argh.

3. The Pretentious. This fella is always trying to assert himself as a party-animal and that he is like so havoc and all. Whatever. They love to make themselves seem better and cooler than you, whether in action or speech. A typical conversation would go like this.
Me: Argh, i'm so tired. This lecture is so boring.
The Pretentious (TP): Really, what time did you sleep. You CAN'T be more tired than me.
Me: I slept like at 1.
TP: That's like so early! I mean i was awake till like 4.
Me: Erm ok.
TP: Did you do anything on Sat?
Me: Nothing much. I just like lazed around, and then went to Church.
TP: You have no life man. I was like partying and all. Have you gone clubbing before?
ME: (trying to joke) Yeah, country clubs.
TP: Ha ha. You've never? Man, you are so not fun.
Me: *snores
People like this love reassert themselves as better/cooler than you. I do love to staying out late, and who doesn't tell their friends that their are so tired during a boring lecture? The part which gets me most is the thinking that someone can never be cooler than them : You CAN"T be more tired than me. Hello, firstly, how do you know that? You are NOT me, so you can't know how tired i am. And secondly, why does sleeping late make you cool? In our generation, we love to compare or compete who sleeps later, but so? Does that make you a better person? Does it make you better looking? NO. So just shut it with the comparisons, especially in the i-am-so-much-better-than-you tone.

Well these are the three most dislike people in my life. If you wondering, yes they are from my school, in my level. Not gonna embaress them by revealing their names, cos i'm not such an asshole, but if you are observant enough, you could tell them out easily. And and, if i'm ever guilty of any of these three, or rather the second two, please DO not be afraid to tell me in my face ok. Cos' as much as i don't want to be a hypocrite, sometimes we are so blind to our flaws, like these three people.

Anyway, here is me, throwing away my verbal skills. I might still joke, take part in discussions, and carry on intelligent conversations. But hear me when i say i won't entertain your meaningless convesations.

2008-01-10T05:09:00.000-08:00

ZOMG this is so good!

2007-12-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

Yes i know its been a long time. Anyway, i was you-tubing and decided to, instead of the usual great female singers, celebrate the voices of man. yeah yeah whatver. anyway this are some great songs and voices of guys.

Cos i love Hannah Montana. This is the acoustic version of "See you again". His voice is real dreamlike.

This is half-counted. Its the same guy as above singing, but with this chick Sophie Hiller doing back-up. Its awesome. I love the song by the way.

One of my favorite songs. The guy has a huge mouth

De toi a moi. Just so you know. Yes its Jesse McCartney. I stumbled upon this and thought their voices complement real well, and i love the frenchlanguage thing.

And my boys.

HAHA.

Updates. Upstarts. Up and On.

2007-10-21T06:42:00.000-07:00

it's been a long hard road till here since.

life is seriously quite shitty right now. only God knows how many times and people i've complained to about how i hate everything that is going on right now. if not for my penchance for brighter colours now, i would seriously be so depressed. there is like so much turmoil and frustration waiting to break free, unfold in the moment of breaking. so right now i'm just drowning myself in everything i do. SHIT HAPPENS.

we recently got back out results for promos. it's a long story, but in the end i got promoted. i was kinda disappointed that that happened. i know loads of people would be like "whatever" and all, but honestly when i first got my results, i thought i would so get retained. i had gotten only Es for history and lit, and S for Ki. i expected a U for econs, so that would have all totalled up to 25points, which would have gotten at best only conditional promotion (35 being the promotion point). and conditional was just not good enough for me. and this i could accept after the initial shock. i mean, i was all ready and even geared up to leave stinking jc and to move ON to poly to do mass comm and all. and then came the shocking twist worthy of a chinese drama serial. i had gotten 36 points in the end. the changes were that i had gotten S for econs (worth 5points) and E for Ki (an additional 5 points). when i heard and saw that i got promoted, honest to God i was quite disappointed. cos' my agreement with my parents was that i could only leave jc if i got retained. i had changed and cleared my mind from all this shit, to only be put back into it. for the record, i absolutely loathe jc. every single morning, i literally struggle to pull myself up to go to school. i do hope that as school closes in a week or so, i do get refreshed mentally and all, and that in the new school term next year, things will change for the better.

anyway. apart from academics everything else is ultra boring and stagnated ( and private) . Sam was telling me that we need girlfriends. the school holidays are going to be superbly busy (i've only 7 free days) due to council. i do miss water polo so much.

time has flew and the end of the year is nearing. this year has only sucked, and nothing good has come out of it. i mean the people in school are nice and all, but that's it, they're just nice, decent kids. (read: boring). i mean, without them, my life could have functioned pretty well without them. i think its the recluse in me that's finally rising up. and also because of the stupid shit i get from them. the ivory-towers they reside in, ultra self-righteous and critical. i mean, do i give a shit whether i missed lessons and let that affect you? you gotta be kidding. and still, i told sam that what has it going on for jc is the people. ironic huh. oh well, its just life.

By the way, this video and the petition it represents gets my stamp of approval. i'm not going to bother to explain my choice, i'm really too tired to do so. but still, as a cosmpolitian and advanced society, should we not be open to people's choices and preferences?

Marie Digby - Unfold

2007-10-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

This song is super surreal. As i read the lyrics, (and licked my potato-chipped fingers), i felt like i was looking at a mirror. for all the times that i've withdrawwn away, put up those walls, this song talks about it all. i was talking to Mishuelle a long, long time ago (miss you babe), and she said she realised that i have so many good/close friends, but no one that i've ever poured my heart to ever. somehow even with my best friends, there are those walls that come up when someone ever comes near. thats why, you might know me, but don't Know me. this song is so good in expressing how i feel about it all, the frustration, the fear and yes, the insecurities.

Unfold -

what i can remember
is alot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can't quite put my
finger down on the moment
that i became like ... this

you see, i'm the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
and yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds

but i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold

these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken by my own doing
and i can't feel
anything, anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i'm still real..

my soul
it's dying to be free
i can't live the rest of my life
so guarded
it's up to me to choose..
what kind of life i lead.

cause i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold

i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me...

love me.. love me...

Esmee Denters

2007-10-18T03:13:00.000-07:00

Yes more hot female singers with oh-so-good voice. watch till the ends for both videos. you might get surprised.

Marie Digby

2007-10-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

PRE-EXAMS DEPRESSION

2007-09-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

okay, so it's been awhile since we last met, and the power of the written word is evidently still strong and persuasive. the floods of posts around the blogosphere for exams encouragements and the like has prompted me to join the bandwagon. anyway, the promos are in a few days and the books are untouched, dusty and calling out. kudos to all who have opened theirs; hope you do well. for others in the same boat (sinking as PrisSu would call it), RETAIN is ever the likely option, or rather fate. but in the same manner i don't go to school, the unfeeling/apathetic/numbed heart of mine still reminds that life's too short for me to bother; i could die of worry. the clocks a-ticking, but somehow, my brain is miles away, unwilling and unwanted.

The EMOooo debate

2007-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

yes, i'm so over emo. but anyway, while doing EoM, i came across this two articles, one the original, the latter the counter. anyway, i though the latter was a bit harsh on the orginal author, but otherwise made sense. the original, quite hate-filled, made a teeny weeny bit of sense, in the part where emo kids diss mainstream music,et al. anyway, haha, it's more so that i don't have to blog anything.haha.

Emo Kids and Their Useless Contributions to Society
Welcome to Wonderland
By Eugenia Wong
Staff Writer
In my LJ101A workshop, one of the coolest things that I learned about some of the greatest literary journalism pieces was the construction of the composite character.

So, I’m going to share with you my experience with a typical, bratty emo kid, whom I will fondly call, Josh Carrion the Emo Kid. Angsty Josh and Co. travel in hoards, infesting movie theatres, plaguing concert venues and contaminating the very air we breathe when we pass by them. However, before I move on any further, I will make the disclaimer that Josh Carrion is a composite character. Yet, a character we’re all too familiar with.

So, I’m sitting down at a general meeting for a community service club that I’ll just call Square K. Before the president arrives to give his spiel of upcoming service events, I’m checking up the latest update on PerezHilton.com. Yeah, I’ve been sucked into the world of celebrity trashings and thrashings (like you haven’t noticed from my other columns) but, hey, can you really say that you’ve never picked up a People Magazine before or at least been intrigued by a cover of US magazine? That’s what I thought.

Anyway, I happen to find something hilarious on the blog and share it with some friends in the club when I am so rudely interrupted by Josh the Emo Kid who retorts, “Why do you care about that stuff? It’s so… meaningless.”

Let me tell you something, Emo Kid, I think your face and your whole existence is meaningless. You swagger in with your ripped, skinny emo jeans, studded belt and greasy dyed hair that covers 2/3 of your face (a good thing it does too) being an unproductive member of society that just bitches, moans and butt into my conversation? Whatever, I clench my fist and refrain myself from snatching those trendy box-framed glasses from off his face and crushing them. I then proceed to turn on my iTunes to enjoy a few songs by OK Go. Oh, great, I have now unwillingly entered the battle arena of music as soon as the first few chords blast from my laptop because then emo kid comes along and says, “OK Go? Oh, they’re good but I liked their first album better.” In my mind I’m grateful that I didn’t have to listen to one of his idiotic rants about music that most emo kids like to go off on, so I politely reply, “Yeah, they’re good.” Ah, finally something that we can agree on but I spoke too soon because then Josh the emo kid goes off on how Capitol records had forced OK Go to wear their retro clothing, how he “discovered” the band long before their “A Million Ways” dance made them popular and how he “hates all mainstream stuff.” Oh my goodness. Emo kid really thinks that wearing “vintage” Salvation Army clothing, listening to weird ass music that no one has ever heard of or cares about, really makes him that unique. Get a life, emo kid... or better yet, take a shower. Before I could respond as to how I saw his exact sweater in a few pages of last year’s Teen Vogue magazine, the president arrives to the meeting thus signaling Josh the emo kid to shut his pie-hole and sulk in the corner.

A little over a week passes by but I happen to run into Josh the Emo Kid amongst all the other Josh the Emo Kids at a Chain Reaction concert on Friday night. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t hate everything emo, I’m still a fan of emo bands like Mae and such. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be at the Chain. We exchange quick glances of acknowledgement, but I’ve already had enough of Josh the Emo Kid so I dash into the record store nearby only to be surrounded by a group of 12-year-old Josh the Emo Kids. They’re about a head smaller than me but I couldn’t help but be amused by their fake lip studs and coerced downtrodden voices. However my tender feelings for these youngsters quickly evaporated as soon as they started to complain how life was such a drag due to what their parents force them to do, which were mostly chores and other things that most American kids do. Is life really that hard, lil’ emo kid? Maybe if your parents put you up for adoption, then you would be justified in being emo. Whatever, I left the record shop in disgust and headed over to the Chain Reaction to enjoy some music where I met up with Emo Kid and crew.

Letters to the Editor
By Readers
Hate Against Emo Kids Unjustified
Last week I read an article in the paper titled “Emo Kids and Their Useless Contributions to Society,” (Feb. 26). Even as someone who is not “emo” and doesn’t listen to emocore, I have never read a more infuriating article in the New University. Never did I expect to come across an article that attacks a group not based on their beliefs but on the way they dress, the music they listen to and the way they live their lives.
When I read “Get a life emo kid. … Better yet, take a shower,” or “I think your face and your whole existence is meaningless,” the comparison that stood out most readily in my mind was the attack on hippies during the 1960s.
In addressing the article, I’d just like to pick out my favorite little bits. First, the author angrily asserts that emo kids “travel in hoards, infesting movie theaters, plaguing concert venues and contaminating the very air we breathe when we pass by them.” Now that is a lot of hate, and it’s just the beginning. The author somehow comes up with the idea that emo kids are a useless contribution to society. How can anyone make such a broad and ignorant assumption about a group of people? How is it that these attacks can come from an educated person?
There is a clear and violent bias in the article which, in my opinion, stems from the fact that the author clearly knows nothing about emo or emocore and its origins. I wonder if the author could have gotten away with this “opinion column” (which is really more like a “two minutes hate” a la “1984”) if she had criticized the majority culture, which everyone and their cousin seems to embrace no matter the occasional stolen melody or rhythm.
Josh Carrion, the “composite character” in the article (the fact that it’s a composite character makes it more of an attack on a group), makes the claim that OK Go had a better first than second album. This seemed to me like a perfectly innocent way to begin a conversation. Sure, many may take the emo kid to be haughty or above it all, but the way the author seems to turn this point into a tirade on anything independent negates this point. “Emo kid really thinks that wearing ‘vintage’ Salvation Army clothing, listening to” – this part was laughable – “weird-ass music that no one has ever heard of or cares about, really makes him that unique.”
Anyone who knows anything about independent culture would understand that wearing Salvation Army clothing is a cultural statement and that most styles of clothing from major manufacturers like Abercrombie and Fitch or The Gap are imitations of this initial cultural movement, meaning that the clothing most people wear is an imitation of independent culture on which emo kids have had a very strong influence.
The earlier point that “Emo kids make no societal contribution” is negated by the fact that they make a strong cultural contribution and that what they achieve through academics or through the workforce cannot be assumed. The funniest part of the article was “Is life really that hard, lil’ emo kid? Maybe if your parents put you up for adoption, then you would be justified in being emo.”
First of all, nobody in our free society has to provide a cultural justification for the particular subculture in which they choose to participate. Second, just because many emo kids are born into prominent and affluent communities does not mean they have an obligation to get out on the dance floor, rave, listen to Britney Spears-type pop hell, grind their crotches against females while listening to hip hop or listen to bland and hook-laden corporate rock.
I personally think of emo as being a response to a lack of emotion in the modern world. Emo kids lament the death of romance, while screamo kids scream about it. I believe these kids are looking for a way to feel again in a society that seems to be leaving so many people disaffected. Sure, many may think that the music they choose to listen to is overly sensitive, but then I always assumed that attacking people for the way they present themselves to the world should have ended in high school. I guess I was wrong.
It is this writer’s opinion that bullying people through an article in a paper is juvenile. I say “bullying” because I think the article latched onto what I feel is an inclination in popular culture to hate on emo kids.
Our country is founded on free speech, but we as a society make an important distinction between free speech and hate speech. Attacking emo kids for self-expression seems to embody that point.

Школа Виктория -за победы за которые мы поделимс

2007-08-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Школа Виктория -за победы за которые мы поделимс

well, it's just Victoria School- For Victories We Share Yet

wayne's friend translated it. i love russian and most of the european (esp. the east) languages. german is lovely too.

anyway, i'm still considering my options.
(A) QUIT NOW
(B) RETAIN
(C) DO MY A LEVELS, THEN GO POLY
(D) QUIT IN APRIL NEXT YEAR
(E) DO MY A LEVELS, THEN GO ON WITH LIFE

haha, anyway, option c is pretty viable from an array of views. one, i have something to fall back on if i screw up poly. two, i might change my mind then. three, i will be armed in both arenas, and show that i chose to go this route and not because i couldn't make it.

anyway, still considering.

Self-Actualisation

2007-08-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

this following letter of sorts was supposedly intended for my parents, a phase of my plan to get me out of SA, where in that case i would spam this letter to my parents' inboxes. anyway, while still in the midst of my consideration, i decided to publish my thoughts, or rather self-discourse, to allow opinions and the generation of ideas. hah. i do expect a result that's in favor of staying though. yes, it's self-indulgent, but then again, what do you expect during PW? pay attention? i do know it's so pseudo-cheem, so please lay off the flak that i don't sound the same as in person. maybe 'cos i don't (i) talk to you that much, (ii) i'm not so fake, or (iii) i assumed you wouldn't understand. [the three clauses don't apply to my dear friend George, for totally different reasons of course]. anyway, it was just some form of clarification of my reason to leave (still considering heavily). and yes it's a wee (really) little exaggeration.

Dear mom and dad （and self).

This note is regarding my utmost and innermost desire to leave the formalized institution of St. Andrews Junior College to pursue my dream of Visual Communications in either Laselle College or the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. For the past 4 months of junior college, I’ve had a terribly miserable experience due to the rigidness and lack of expression in this system. For want of sounding childish/ungrateful/naïve, I do believe my place of education lies in that of the Fine Arts. Rather than the institutionalized system and curriculum of examinations, tests and such, I do rather that of creative exploration by which I discover and harness my talents in art. The time spent in SA, I do truly feel, have been a wasted one, by which I suffer from intense pressures to do well in an otherwise constrictive and strangling manner. The subjects I take do not deliver any joy – Economics, History and Literature, in the sense that they lack intellectual engagement and are very much stoic and rigid in their form. The formality of such chokes my thought and self, threatening to engulf my own identity and person. The freedom and yet teaching in the Arts Colleges will allow me to grow both as a person and an artist, to do so, is to take a step closer to my dreams and ambitions. The exciting prospects of such do allow me some relief. The absolute dread and loathing I feel in relation to school and its associates allow me no joy, rather a dead existence that trudges along on sheer will and the lack of choice. Please do hear my pleas and cries for the emancipation of my person from the shackles of SA. This is by far, not an exaggeration nor a ungrateful plea from a brat, but rather a request to be the shining light that delivers from the evil one, the helping hand that frees me form my strongholds. In all, please do hear my cry from the depths of these god-forsaken pits, and grant my dear and sincere request.

Yours faithfully, sincerely and always, your loving son and physical body,

Em.

SAVE THE STUDENTS!

(funnily, i would rather be going to Temasek Poly's Visual Comm.)(it really doesn't make sense for me to stay: if i'm going to do the course after A Levels, then why wait?)

2007-08-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

i must admit my taste in music has taken a revamp. happy, no?

Song Covers and the like.

2007-08-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

haha it's the youtube fever.

beautiful song, beautiful girl, beautiful voice. the original "These Walls" was sung by Teddy Geiger.

i know Christmas ain't here yet, but this song and his voice is too hard to pass up. Winter Wonderland covered by Jason Mraz.

the original main man. yes, it's jason mraz fever. this song is pretty nice too. the Beauty in Ugly by HIM. "You'll make all the fashion statements, by just dressing up your mind."

okay okay, last one. everything bout this cover/video is so apt, from the intro to the lyrics. Life IS wonderful.(the background harmony is pretty nice, too bad it's so little)

when we'll all so unsure, so confused, we start off a little wary. but in the middle of it all, we get so caught up in the circle of life, and things start to get going. and we end on a high.

I'm Yours (and I'm Not Okay)

2007-08-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

i just love this song to bits. (the lyrics is below)

the original. the harmony is so so so good.

this cover is really good, and she's quite a looker too.

I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks, and i'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours

*scat*

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm a sayin' is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, i'm sure
(there's no need to complicate
our time is short
it cannot wait, i'm yours 2x

no please don't complicate, our time is short
this is our fate, im yours.
no please don't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, the sky is yours!)

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family
it's your god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved
open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la happy family
it's our god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la peaceful melodies
it's you god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved...

ps: please do NOT ask me "are you okay?" when i'm quite obviously am not. either you are plain numb or dumb (read: insensitivity off the charts).on a happier note, i still like this song.

all's well that end's well: it's been a long time-coming

2007-07-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

(this space has been UNdisclaimed)

well, i'm finally back. to say the least, it's been a long ride since yesteryears (while just a few months, but in relation to the period of my existence, it's quite long okay), a whole lot of shit, poop, faeces and any other synonym that's got to do with excretement.

well, to all uninitiated (new favorite word), i've been inducted into the ranks of the 30th Student Council, as a member of the Executive Committee, namely being the assistant HEAD OF FUNCTIONS (i do try to ignore the first few words). from then, it all went downhill. for fear of sounding ungrateful (or rather the sorry little brat, that i actually am), i will try to keep the complaints out of the picture. in other words, your ears are gonna be pretty sore, that is, if i do know you at all. not that i haven't had any fun or anything (not much actually), but it's rather i for one don't see myself fitting for the job itself. me? i mean, i could deal with job scope yadayada, but me as a student leader? didn't see that one coming, eh VS?

well, there certainly has been progression. i mean, from the initial stages of a complete outright rejection of joining the student council to EXCO, that's quite a big leap in both faith(?) and heart, doncha think? well, it's truly (and highly likely) God's plan, as in every aspect, i am the pre-determined, divined (read: accidental) councilor. WATER POLO, call me back.(silence rebounds). oh well, in all fairness, i mean council isn't that bad, other than the fact that i've never been stressed for anything school-related or for anything for a matter of fact. till i joined SA and council. case in point: i was out for lunch (sorta) with Mdm. Nabilah, her daughter, and George. we were semi-complaining to her, and she remarked that it was the first time she's ever seen me stressed. i mean was it the pimples on my face? (damn pimples!) it's so scary that it's not even funny. i mean, i was feeling more stressed for the Common Test than my O Levels.

well, you ask, what the hell? yes, i admit that i've a rather low tolerance for stress when it does comes, meaning once every 17 years (seen in the trend thus far).for everything else, there's "erm, okay, so?", my generally favorite apathetic mindest.

well, what's the difference then? well, you got me stumped there.i guess i'm growing up, finally facing commitment (hell, i said to my friend today that i wouldn't quit school cause it would be, omg, irresponsible). i mean, i am free from my phobia? for the longest time, i've never been able to carry an interest (of sorts) for longer than a year. CCAs, relationships, you name it. maybe because i'm kinda trapped in between the shame of quitting and the unwillingness of the teachers to kick people out. i mean, the only solution is retaining. and we don't want that, do we? well, i guess, after all this boo-hoo crap, it's just me growing up after all. a new life, a new perspective (seeing life in bright colors now, for i am mr sunshine), and a new positivity. maybe it's just because i had a good day today. well, one thing's for sure, we could have all the maybes in the world, but i don't want to be a "may be a (insert occupation/post/etc.)", i want to be somebody. (how utterly vague and unhelpful as well, but it does sound motivational, no?)

well, in all, all's well that end's well. beating round the bush hasn't been a favorite pastime, so let's skip to the end with a summary, that finally, and i do mean finally, little boy blue, with all his shortcomings, commitment phobia(s), lamentings, and psuedo-emoness, has finally grown up into mr sunshine. well, as said by Jason Hahn as said by someone else, it's all about positive thinking.

well. (the frog has left the building)

THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S A GODAMMNED ARMS RACE

2007-04-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

THE EMO-LUTION

this post is going to be long due to pent up feelings of outrage ( and all its connotations) on the following issue. DISCLAIMER, do not read if you're narrow-minded and prejudiced against the emo culture. i'm not an Emo fanatic, neither am i an advocate of some of its beliefs and actions. i'm just another teenager of Gen Y who believes in freedom of choice for individuality and personality ( no, i'm not a hippie).

as every literate person in singapore will "know" by now, emo equals bad. wait a minute. so now we're labelling emoness as a bad culture which we should exterminate? what happened to pre-marital sex, promiscuity, homosexuality(not saying its bad) and etc.? i mean, you guys do that right? so why condemn us? aren't we the lesser evil? we don't leave, erm, stuff behind, we don't break hearts, we don't scar people for lives, we don't even talk to you. so why now the outcry for emo-termination?

reading the reports after articles about the emo culture in singapore, i couldn't but help act the critic for the critic.

in the Straits Times, dated 2 April 2007 in the YouthInk forum (pg H7) , Ms. Jessica Lim wrote an article entitled " Emo heroes: Just a bunch of zeroes". basically "commenting" on the new type of heroes, the EMO HERO. the man in question here is none other than Michael Scofield aka Wentworth Miller of Prison Break fame. first up for dissection, the Emo Hero isn't a recent phenomenon. in modern and not so modern literature, we deem him the anti-hero, a main character in a dramatic or narrative work who is characterized by a lack of traditional heroic qualities, such as idealism or courage as defined by dictionary.com . this anti-hero labels ties in with your description of Scofield - "As a character, he is after all, awkward, anti-social, self-alienated, cruel, obnoxious or selfish". okay, now we question, what's so bad about the anti-hero/Emo Hero? You say the Emo Hero is "getting tedious and cliched". FYI, your characterisation of Scofield is obviously limited and viewed narrowedly. i mean come on, awkward? harry potter, a quintessential hero (who displayed and displays traditional hero qualities such as courage, etc.) was an awkward one as well. at least Rowling managed to humanise him. in the same way, Scofield, who is not just "awkward, anti-social, etc", he is more than that. otherwise, he's just another one-dimensional fictional construct. before you clamour that i'm being biased, lets swing over to the other spectrum, where Scofield is a "delinquent". anti-social behaviour, check ( though i'm not so sure about that. i mean socialising in prison? he was romancing Sara!) , self-alienated, check, and selfish, check. i'm sorry. while trying to maintain objectiveness, the fact that this claim to be " a bad person" ( as you make the Emo Hero out to be, correct me if i'm wrong) because of such qualities just seem like such a lame attempt. i mean for crying out loud, your description is based on a man stuck in a prison filled with hooligans and gangsters who first don't care for socialising ( in the way we non-prison attendees define it, not that we're socially different), and second care about being humble. but credit for crediting him obnoxiousness anyway because in the episode of "Brothers Keepers", he was quite proud towards Lincoln. but that lasted for an episode only. anyway, for self-alienated and selfish, forgive me if i'm wrong, aren't they quite contradictory? but hey if self-alienated is the same as low self-worth, then you hit the nail on the spot. however, this is mainly due to feelings of abandonment in his youth. but this also makes him more sympathetic to others suffering if you paid close attention when the doc was going on about his lower latent inhibition. so there, we kinda summed up the character of the Emo Hero based on Michael Scofield. is he such a bad person? according to who? by what values? and that leads us to your statement, " Meet Gen Y's role model: the emo hero". okay, so let us (or rather just me) clarify somethings. Gen Y as in youths, teenagers? like aged between 13-20? okay so now, (since YOU used Prison Break, we shall continue using Prison Break as the example) the director of Prison Break (PB), is Paul Scheuring born 1968, so he would be 38 at the time of PB's premier which was in 2005. Now, he's not really of Gen Y is he? so would it be a correct term to use the Emo Hero as our role model? according to who? anyway looking at PB's demographics, it caters to a more mature and adult audience. from wikipedia, which may be a little dubious, "Due to its storyline and setting, Prison Break's target audience is the 18-34 age group. The show contains adult content including violence, coarse language, sexual and drug references." So would it be a better description to call it our P65's (excluding the non-working Gen Y) role model instead? unless you yourself are above such a role model?

in the article, it ( lets not be personal here) also says that " He may be cute, brainy and kind. Unfortunately, he is also a bit dumb". wait. the last time i checked, brainy (intelligent, clever) was quite the opposite of dumb (stupid; dull-witted). hmm, the paradoxical hero now? as claimed by the article. as caption, it said " Forget Superman or Luke Skywalker. The new teen 'hero' is a tattoo-sporting convict. Shudder". okay so now we're condemning tattoos, convicts or both? now we're on dangerous territory with the convict issue. so we can't give him a second chance? a convict can't be a hero? another famed "convict" is xXx agent Xander Cage played by Vin Diesel who plays convict-turned-hero. so he's bad too? okay now for the former. tattoos are bad. though deemed to be gangsterish and with all its associations, tattooing oneself is all too common-place.

you also talk about how "dumb" it is for the tattoo to be on his torso and should rather be on his thighs. now wait for a minute and think. THINK. it's a television drama. it's not porn firstly. putting on his thighs might lead to over-exposure of unnecessary viewing. okay, so you say that it can be easily solved by underwear ( i mean don't you see the trend of the shy hollywood man who is adverse to showing too much down there?) anyway, look at the proportion of his entire torso versus his upper thighs?would it fit firstly? he would also still need to "swivel his head at a mirror" to look behind his thighs anyway. anyway, why are you so uptight about the tattoo anyway, its not as if he has not enough time to look at them, so does it really hurt to swivel?

"Yes it makes good TV. But 30 years ago, that same scenario might never become the hit of today". We're in 2007.

"Wholesome, toothsome and brimming with hope, that generation would have baulked at a character like Scofield, instead of accepting as role model". You quote Star Wars's Luke Skywalker. but what about Han Solo who has his legions of fans as well. he's quite the Emo Hero based on his selfishness stemmed from survival ( quite similar to Michael Scofield). Han Solo is not exactly from our era is he?

" So great is our attraction to the emo hero that even his giving up of a great career and a posh apartment - in other words, everything he's worked for - may be forgiven". and so leave his innocent brother to die unjustly?so the great value of self-sacrifice is now being questioned? people sympathise and respect one who is willing to give up his all for his loved one. people cannot be earned, or gained, once dead, they're gone. money, riches, or in this case a great career and a posh apartment can always be attained again. they are temporal.

" To our credit, we identify with this emo hero because we feel shunned by ' the establishment"'. True. who doesn't identify with the underdog? who doesn't identify with the one is being persecuted despite being "right"? who has never misunderstood?

"But does it go too far when we are known for being so 'emo' that we are willing to destroy ourselves in more outlandish ways than our predecessors". so you justify destroying ourselves? i'm sorry if i misunderstood, but are you saying that we are supposed, expected to destroy ourselves? just that now, our Gen Y (not counting the fact of PB's demographics but rather the emo culture) is destroying ourselves in an outlandish manner? either that i'm really dumb or that sentence doesn't make sense whatsoever. i assume you are referring to self-mutilation and suicide. true, we are might be going too far. but are we going to question one's morals now? see suicide and emo-ing are pretty different even though their paths do tend to cross regularly. Emo, as in being emotional, is more than just depression. we don't just kill ourselves? i believe, and hope you respect by believing this, that we're more rational and sane than that. the minority (though increasing) of suicidal people have always been there. through different fads, different appearances, they have always been there. this following excerpt is taken from the National Youth Council of Singapore's website :
"TEEN SUICIDES : RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS THE MAIN CAUSE OF FRICTION with parents and breaking up with boyfriends or girlfriends are the main factors that push Singapore's under-20s over the edge. Not so stress over school grades. In only three of the 28 youth suicides in 2001 was it a possible trigger, according to a study by three doctors. One was a nine-year-old girl. The figures debunk the popular perception that pressure to do well in school is driving Singapore's young to the brink. They also show that (a) more boys than girls (16 against 12) commit suicide (b) all jumped off high-rise residential blocks (c) almost half (13) were school dropouts, and (d) three-quarters were aged between 14 and 19, with the youngest aged nine. But the figures do not indicate a trend, said Dr Daniel Fung, adding that the annual average in the past five years is 20 youths." though this article was written in 2003, the Emo culture had already begun its revolution. if not under the guise of relational problems, we have peer pressure, stress and what-have-you-nots.

" How did we become so repulsed by the image of being upstanding, hopeful, wholesome - or even toothsome - that we don't know which way is up any more". Up as according to who? cultural perception? i believe this repulsion has always been there. anti-establishment is not a new fad. sure, being "upstanding, etc." are all good values and all. but how about your self-righteousness and pseudo perfection. the main bulk of Emo Kids despair against the hypocrisy and for lack of better word, self-righteousness of you mainstream adults, our actual supposed role models. rather than give us hope, you paint the world shades of black and grey, bleak existence by your double standards and all your plasticness. yes call us "angst-filled youths" but remember, at least we're living our lives truly and we're not the kettles calling the pot black.

"Maybe we aren't calling delinquency what it is: bad for you, attention seeking and not very clever". So now we're referring the Emo culture as delinquency? okay so lets define juvenile delinquency - behavior of a child or youth that is so marked by violation of law, persistent mischievousness, antisocial behavior, disobedience, or intractability as to thwart correction by parents and to constitute a matter for action by the juvenile courts. no where in its definition does it say being emotional, cutting oneself (not that i'm condoning it) or being depressed? it is none of it. now your definition, of it being bad. its quite subjective isn't it. to you, the self-righteous outside, looking down from your ivory tower, you look at us with disdain and pity that we're wasting our lives away. but we look up to you and feel sorry for you, that you are so unaware and so caged in by your narrowness and prejudice. attention-seeking, now that's a term that keeps coming up in articles tacking this issue. you say we're attention-seeking. who isn't? do you even know of us. not wanting to sound the typical teenage rebel who implores misunderstanding, your views of us being attention-seeking seem just a lame provocation to stir us out of our Emoness to prove you wrong. and so? we didn't raise the issue. we were pretty fine the way we were. if were attention-seeking of any sort, do you think we would seek it from you? the establishment? or our parents? i'm sure your opinion ( on our issues) matter to us. if were attention seeking at all, we would be seeking one another's attention rather. call it a pity-party or whatever, who are you to judge? your limited view on how people should be behave and treat one another is rather moralistic and based on convention. i know you think we're such a sad, sorry case, but forgive me for sounding harsh, you do too.

"What's so wrong with being a bona fide good guy anyway?" Now we wouldn't want it to be "getting tedious and cliched" would we?

and lastly, " Can't a hero be cute, brainy, kind - and smart?'' Well, perfection is so yesterday.

haha, i just heard that Wentworth Miller is gay. haha, new discussion?

AGAIN?

2007-04-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

before i start rambling, i would like one and all to know that i've (well i try to tell myself that i did on purpose, not otherwise) "reformatted" my MP3 and "going through a period of musical self-discovery". right now, theres only the crooner James Morrison who has really lame lyrics and the real poets, Fall Out Boy, who has really great lyrics, but sound so poppish now. oh well, so if you have any good music worth my two seconds, pass it on alright.

anyway, school has been great if you're wondering. other than the fact that i feel like a outsider in my class. sure i have my "friends" and sure i can talk to the others, but why does it feel so wierd and empty? aargh? anyway, school work has been piling up, literally. the work we get nowadays if a far cry from those good old days in VS (not that we bothered about homework anyway). talking about VS gets me really riled up. i mean co-ed, AGAIN? haven't we been there and done that? well, george is going for the OVA forum and i hope that all goes well, well as in NO GIRLS ALLOWED. sexist as you may say, i believe strongly in boy school pride and all that. i'm sure you understand.

Yours Truly, The Talented Mr Eckley

2007-03-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, i'm in St. Andrews.

Funny how SA never seemed to be a choice at all. the course code seemed to appear out of nowhere and formed by the idea that SA's uniform was the nicest. oh well. for all the people who assumed, and here i assume, and had faith in me to be posted to VJ, here's a apology budded out of an inexplicable feeling of nothing. absolutely nothing.

i thought i would be devastated. i thought i would be angry. i thought wrong.

Funny how it just seemed to pass like day and night. unpredictable but not unexpected.

Funny how i feel fake when i say "it's alright, SA is quite good also", but feel as if i mean it.

oh well.

SA has been a blast thus far. Day 1 was hellishly boring. mainly admin, we had tests after tests. i went for the KI test, which was at the same time as the Art aptitude test. appartently in SA, KI and Art is too much of a workload to be put in the same subject combination. thus i've to resort to Lit. , Hist, Math and KI. yes, i got in.

the KI test was wierd. questions like " Is the King of France really bald" and "Is snow white" got me stumped and thinking. other questions broached existentialism - does the table exist? while others were pretty normal, asking why i wanted to take KI.

the interview was the next day and we had saner questions that actually made sense. thank god i got through without blurting out that i was actually crapping around.

well the orientation ended with a muted boom from disco night. telling myself that if i wanted to club i rather be in a proper club, i refrained from boogying away and looking retarded like the many in the crowd. looking at george from afar, i couldn't help but chuckle. but still i felt fake.

come on. why the conflict within?

even my words come out fake. "oh no thanks its alright." and "i'm alright. just a little tired" aren't really what they are. just smokescreens for a dragon waking from its repose. anger. sadness.

oh well.

SRJC ALL FOR YOU, YOUR CALL IS OURS TOO.

2007-03-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

somehow the blogging bug has bitten.

to start off this part, i would like to say this is the 22nd post for this blog. say whoopee.

have you ever realised that most blogskins are either too gay to function or too feminine, which in essence are much the same thing? somebody say sexist!

over this past few days, i've come to realise a milestone in my life. i like grey! though seemingly unimportant and unsignificant to the uninitiated, i do realise that has marked a point in my short life that i've begun to mellow with age. come on, don't laugh man. i know it might sound absurd to your disbelieving ears that thats even finitely possible, but i swear i'm pulling your leg. okay, so i've nothing better to do but you still got Punk'd. i do like grey though.hee. [i think its possible that i'm becoming schizo]

today being the second last day of first three months does seem a tad bit boring. coupled with the fact with the melodramatic downpour outside my window adding to this emoness, i stop and think, and go into narrative reminscing the good and the bad, and the ugly (cue rat-face) of it all.

for all those who weren't in SR for the three months, this is the point you might actually wanna to stop reading due to its expicit content, kidding. actually more like cause some of the stuff are inside jokes. however if you would like to stay tuned, you might get a glimpse at how much SR rocks, albeit a rather confusing glimpse. in short this is sort of goodbye.
To say the least, SR has been loads of fun. To all 1A01 kids, thanks. As much as i hate to be cliched, thanks for all the good memories of :
1. ponning lessons in favour of staring at each other wordlessly, hoping that a spark of excitement might dispell the cloud of boredom stubbornly and unfairly clinging around us.
2. making fun of one another. actually just Nat ( too pretty beefcake?) and the Rat-face ( or enthu-rep. if you wish). i swear i was nice.
3. the educating experience of an animal farm in our homeroom, the one and only renassaince room. kudos to John for being so vocally talented at animal mimicry. you sure you're pure human?
4. the wonderful creatures we call teachers. first we have, of course, ms tammy thiang who i believe is a great teacher. (notice the bland and uninteresting description? me no want to get into trouble) next of course, we have to mention our dashing co-civics tutor with goldfish lips who is actually quite lame (humor-wise) despite being a valedictorian for his cohort. and also for the whole man-in-black thing. third we of course have stephen tay who is actually a really great teacher. for once we have a teach who knows his facts. other than the fact of course he looks like the one-eyed alien from lilo and stitch. fourth, we have nat's mum-in-law and teacher of my favorite subject- chinese. all you chinks so yeah. okay lame. anyway, Mrs Phay, who is a member of the discipline commitee ( say wooh) is actually pretty okay cause she's kinda oblivious to me and nat either skipping lessons or sleeping in them. [tuck in your shirt mas]. what would ever do without teachers? we would all die due to the fact that our attire is messy due to the fact that our shirts are untucked by a fraction.
5. to ningles whose actual schizo (i suspect) mind never fails to entertain and to depress.hee.
6. to liz whose hyperventilating laughter and predisposition to Rat-face makes a great live comedy.
7. to nat for being such a great friend and for looking so pretty. hee.
8. to syafiq for being dyslexic.
9. to shawn the f*cktard for being the infinite gentleman you are. i have great respect for you man.
10. to john for being such an entertainer. remember me when you get famous alright. either as a animal tv show host or mr philip tan's successor.
11. to mas who is probably the only who's gonna get all the jokes cause you're the only one left reading, thanks, erm, for reading still? hah, really thanks for good memories as temporary BFF.

and to the others in 1A01 who have played a role in defining SR as such a great place. thanks.

the only bad memory, if you're wondering, is probably shaving off my precious mohawk. till we cut again.

if you're a non-SRJCian and still reading, wow, i'm impressed.

Full Circle

2007-02-28T03:02:00.000-08:00

its a couple of days before the JAE results, and seriously i'm shaking.

to all you elitist bastards, f*ck off and go to hell cause SR is a good school despite its less-than-stellar cut off points. don't give me that condescending look.

anyway, on a happier note, congrats to all 4Eians for your results.

short is good, no?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2007-02-09T18:35:00.000-08:00

finally you say, that lazy emmanuel has woken up from his lazy repose and started to blogging again. haha. my ever loyal supporters and feeders

as you all probably know by now, the O results are out and i'm proud to announce my startling and spectacular achievement of 9! Well it was a definite surprise. Like OMG kind of surprise. So thank God! for because without Him, this grade would definitely have a one in front of it.

well, so now the all important deicison would be either VJ or SR. its quite funny seeing the reactions of people when i tell them i'm considering SR and with all their elitist stares, they grab me by my shirt and tell me i'm crazy (hint hint to some physics teacher). and my favourite catchphrase for this season is [ get out of my elite and uncaring face]. how cool is that. hah. yes, laugh at me. mock me.fine

anyway. school thus far has been really great. for the record i'm in canoeing. swimming in sr really sucks; the swimmers are all so white. and rugby, well, do i look like i can take rugby? haha, no thanks shafiq. the people in my class rock man. kudos to Ning, Nat, Suiliz, John and Shawn and many others who make class interesting and fun. oh man, i sound like a teacher.

anyway, thats bout as much my morning brain can squeeze out. so tada and till next time.

PS: Hey all 1A01 peeps, CG dinner is now lunch next thurs at 2. Meet at orchard mrt in your finest formal cause after lunch we'll be going for the play thing alright.

And The First Week. 2007

2007-01-07T01:39:00.000-08:00

and the first three days have passed. it seemed like forever. thank god there were nice people (cue Gonorrhea and Syphillis) cause in comparison to VS's campus, SR's really times ten to the power of infinity (drumroll) worse. the orientation games were uberly boring. for example, for the very first game, we played the name game and wacko. they are actually not bad icebreakers, but the speed and MO of playing just bored the hell out of me. just picture people walking matrix-style over to called person to "whack" the other guy. whatever.
the school has no color sense at all. its facade outside is horribly yellow, pink and green. and everyone seems to be poor condition. i miss VS. even more horrible, is that even though VS's food really sucked, SR's worse. like bad.

anyway, enough of waxing lyrical bout my new school for the next three months, its only salvation is the people. wierdly enough, there are pretty girls there. though they kinda all look alike, yes, they were pretty.

subject combinations choosing was on friday and since it was just for three months, i decided to take something altogether advant garde. my first choice was Lit., Hist. and Art, with a H1 maths. so together with Deb., we're keeping our fingers crossed for that combi to be accepted. as for the matter of CCA, it would be probably Rugby or Swimming. okay so maybe i'm not rugby body type, well i can be a winger. so i won't be tackling any large asses any time soon okay. swimming yah, but i kinda think SR's swim team is kinda lousy. anyway, anything goes as long as its fun.

and so ends the first week of the new year and new school term. cheers to a better week and better school

Erebus Oi!PS: i have to like freaking wake up at 5.30 man.

Rounding Up the Rest Of My Life

2006-12-20T08:33:00.001-08:00

rollercoaster ride really sums it right.

well the past few weeks/months of my blogosphere absence have been a mix of bliss and fallacious bliss. Fallacious, to my less intelligent readers, as in that it was a bliss founded on mistaken logic or perception. right from the reader's digest universal dictionary. man, i really love the word 'fallacy'. haha. well, getting back into the thick and thin of things have been tough, though mainly i've been trying to bulk up with fellow swim/gym rats george,xue, and khai. in between gym/swim days are often days of ultimate sleep-ins and all other no-nos.

other updates include a whole new perspective from "sixteen going on seventeen". in the oh-so-cliched phase of all christian-born kids who turn from holier-than-thou angel to the angsty, emo, radically rebellious devils, i guess i managed to slide my way though and into trouble and sorts. other than that strong rebellious streak, wanderlust (i kinda heard of the word somewhere and i'm not sure if it even exists) is panging against my already distracted and heavily-occupied and small brain. australia and of course mr walter who betrayed us beckons. well a good escape from all the paraonia and ad nauseaum that life and its peeps brings will do me good. so people, if you would like to contribute to the save-emmanuel's-mind-by-paying-for-his-airfare-cause-his-nasty-parents-can't-be-bothered-fund, please call 98554775. toll lines are open from one to one mon to friday and all monetary donations are accepted in cash or cheque.

another little lovely update on life, and all the lurve it brings.
there's a special someone on the radar so far. so to keep my inteprid readers (such a the oracle) in suspense, she (or maybe its a he? just kidding) will be staying on the my radar only. so please don't hound me alright.

well, isn't that just juicy eh.

satisfied?

well christmas is in a few days so start fasting to get ready to gorge for the feasts and partying coming right up.

here's a little clip that should fasinate you. haha. well, it started of as a harmless experiment at trying our hands at baking lagsagne and cookies and brownies. well, it ended up as a circus, mahjong and tv. so yah. go ahead and laugh at us. anyway that tim who dropped the onion. i've got nothing to do with it. muahahaha.

well this is the end of a new beginning. as we usher in the new year which is coming real soon, lets have a moment of silence for all the stupid things that we've done in 2006 like not studying for prelims. well to all our teachers and freaking adults that seem to plan for our future more than we do, f*ck you and have a good new year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tis' the new day

2006-11-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

i'm just repressed.

the Os are Over. finally. zilch. no more. and some how, those feeling of jubilee and ulitmate glee are somehow flirting around me. but like how i just couldn't remember what was the reason for the start of LON, i just can't grasp on to those impish feelings.

somehow, a wave of emoness has swept across youths island-wide. every blog i visit either seems to be depressed or philosphical. man, we're are just 16. theres no need to figure why the hell we are on earth for. yet.

though pangs of such disturbing behaviour do hit me occasionally, i try not to make a faux pas of myself by exclaiming and lamenting to the world.

but then again. here i go, haranguing (pardon for the frequent use, i just love the word) on about others when i commit the sin i preach against. on that note, i recall a major incident happening way over with the Yankees. the one about the Pastor hiring a gaygolo. man, i really can't stand people like this. they come on with their holier-than-thou attitudes and in the end, and all, just live their lives of double standards and hypocrisy. i may be a christian (maybe) but i ain't no blind fool to stand up for a lost, and wrong, cause. tis' people, of the world, are no brethren of mine.

anyway, on a much happier note, the exams, as you know, are over. i was talking to walter just now, and i might be going over to Down Under in January/February if i don't go for first three months. man, i miss that guy.

anyway, back to the point. i think i should be happy, at least happier. like mr khoo famous sayings that dan adores, happiness is what makes me happy. but somehow, this happiness eludes me. ignores me. or maybe its just me.

okay, so i'm rambling on. but who cares. i'm on a quest. Indiana Jones and the Lost Happiness.

anyway daniel, you owe lois, tim and i a treat. haha. don't forget. CHINA RULES MAN.

i'm going crazy

ta-dah

2006-10-16T03:26:00.000-07:00

graduation. its strange how time flies and how that it hasn't seem to affected me. yet anyway. when everyone was feeling all so emo and ... i actually felt a genuine mix of elation and relief. whatever/whyever i know not but till we meet again.

okay, enough with the bullshit.

honestly the past few weeks have been so terrible/horrible/crap/andallkindsoflikefreelings. i feel so fucked up.how much so i don't know. the vicissitudes of fate haven't really been on my side.

to top off the end of the celebrations/graduation, i feel liberated and chained at the same time. one for the end of all irritants and the like, the other for the impending footsteps of the o. and so, my paradox of being happily sad just continues to rage on.

well like the rest of the blogging o level world. i guess this marks the start of my "interregnum" and the end of my haranguing. for those who did well for the prelims-don't rub it in. i'll rub your face in your ass.

till we meet again.

2006-09-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today,what was your first thought?
man, that guy is hot! haha, no lah, more like, man is damn early.

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
tonight? more like ten years later.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?
PLUCK. CLUCK. MUCK. TUCK. and last but not least.... YUCK!

4. Favorite planet?
poor lost pluto.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
jarrold ng

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
spongebob

7. What shirt are you wearing?
a orange puma shirt

8. What were you doing 20 minutes ago?
doing this. sorry la, i'm really slow.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currentlywearing.
what shoes?i'm at home.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
semi semi?

11. What do you think about the person who tookthis survey before you?
er, nothing.

12. If you're in a room with two beds, which one doyou sleep on?
the bigger one.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
going home with jake, jansen and sheng.

12.What did your last text message you receivedsay?
it says: Ask your brother to bathe.

15. How do you like your eggs?
sunny side up!

16. What's a word/phrase that you say a lot?
whatever

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
my pop.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
my... pu..puffy hair.

19. How many drugs have you done in the lastthree days?
none..i'm a clean junkie.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
what era is this quiz in?

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
16

22. Your worst enemy?
erm, no one really. honestly.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
a orange party digi-image.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
no.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
fly, doh. then i'll be paid the big bucks.

26. What do you want to be doing?
now-swiming. it's stupid raining.

27. The last song you listened to?
look where we are all now by teddy geiger.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
i would be sad. it was my mom.

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
nicholas

30. What is the closest item to your foot?
the floor. doh. oh, item. then chair.

2006-09-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

wunderchildren of the MTV Generation. bow down and worship. i studied. *screams and shouts in amazement*. okay, so it was yesterday, but still. i studied. this fact should be on the frontpage of every major newspaper (if it wasn't...) and replayed on every news channel every hour. this kind of new is earthshaking, groundbreaking and historymaking. okay, so you think i'm making a Mt. Everest out of Bukit Timah. So? I studied and that's what counts. We are fundamentalists and moralists, like every good citizen should be. Mai Hum, Mai Hum, Mai Lovely Little Hum (i don't like hums by the way). Fundmentalists just because we are a multi-racial society, encouraged to stand up for our good beliefs. Moralists, because we already are. Don't you realise in every scandal, our fellow citizens (refraining from moral issues of dissing our lovely little lump of an island) would in the heartlands, be criticising the antagonist in the scandal, as if suddenly, everyone is a mr/ms-oh-so-holy. for example, let's review the "i swallow" controversy. unkown to us mere mortals, we singaporeans (did he just say that?), gasped and swallowed in horror at the sight of that revolting poster, immediately reaching a L5 by infering sexual innuendos. COME ON PEOPLE. We are SINGAPORE. We are a COSMO state, one that is CONTEMPORARY and SOCIALISED. We are not, in anyway, supposed to act like a pubescent sec one giggling away at little cleavage and words for the first time. Or the antedulivian creature widening its eyes in horror at the state modern civilastion as degraded into (though it has in some sense). Come on, i thought we had matured in a society that could accept, and when i say accept, i actually mean tolerate, such petty controversy. You see, a controversy is only a controversy when it has juicy details of for example, a certain President recieving oral sex (which by the way is illegal in our sunny singapore) from his secetary (i think its secetary). that is a controversy, a TRUE BLUE SCANDAL. Not what people think a poster means or how a person's image is projected. Though many may argue that that would result in a controversy. Well, grow up people, we are a nation that actually has sex more than Korea, so say it with me, We are Singapore, We are Singapore, We are a Sexy People and Let us Roar.

PS: Zoe Tay kinda looked ugly in the poster anyway. Wake up scaly antedulivians.

2006-09-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

/once upon a time, there was a boy who went
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. the holidays are here! okay, so it's so much of a celebration, cause as we all poor Singaporean kids know, our prelims are a week more. so, here we are, in the midst of the break, breaking mind and soul to lift that ton-heavy textbook (a cause of common illnesses such as textbookfatiguee, also known as tbf) and to strain all mental muscles to cram that last bit of what globalisation is about. don't even get me started. Singapore has a brilliant education, albeit one that's militaristic (a little?) and so regimental. okay, so it's not boot camp style or that we have stupid teachers (though we have quite a few), but rather the stress and all the expectation and the amount of impact it has in our lives. it's just too overpowering i must say. though, i would like to not appear weak and redundant among all these budding geniuses and the like, i must say that school life is not easy. repeat after me, it's not easy. anyway, well, after a redundant(love that word) tirade, i have to come to a not-so-nice-but-correct conclusion, that well, even though i(we?) don't like, i guess, like i said, the impact of education on our entire lives are pretty significant. if i'm boring you right this instant, or worse, stirring up anti-PAP (did i just say that?) sentiments, feel very free to leave anytime, cause i don't really care what you think. you are, after all, reading my blog. so, therefore i can be as trash-talking, redundant (3) and as rude as i want to be. it's a free world.

anyway, moving on to the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, or the other side of the fence and a happier note, i just watched the devil wears prada. another horror flick. damn scary sia. haha, okay, so it wasn't my kind of movie, i go for serious and meaningful arthouse movies like scary movie (another scary flick by the way), but it was kinda interesting on the way how people can be so backstabbing, selfish, immoral, backstabbing, er, bad, not nice. anyway, you get what i mean. one thing i learnt from the show (it's good to pick up learning points you know, it's a lifelong skill!) is that girls can be so bitchy. and when i mean bitchy, it's all claws out and tongue lashing. but there was one quote that Miranda Priestly (Anna Wintour?) said, "Please bore someone else with your questions". nasty. but i like. so people who are still reading, please try not to bore me with the "details of your incompetence" even if you "fall and smack your head on the pavenment". So "By all mean, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me". Even though she was such a bitch, Miranda Priestly (by no means is she priestly at all), it superbly acted by a superb 13-time-nominated-for-the-Oscars actress by the name of Meryl Streep. bow down and worship the bitch. okay, so you think i'm sacrilegious now. fine, but don't forget i warned you all. bow down, or forever hold your peace.

okay, today was a great day out with nicole and renee (re-nay). the end/

2006-08-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

woohoo, i learned a new word. piece de resistance, which means the most outstading event of a group or series, how "exotic" is that?
anyway, i'm back from a day shopping with mr. exotique, mr. pms and mr. all-mats-are-dumb. teachers' day, after all, is a very special day in my heart. tear.just brings all the memories of special teachers. anyway, we bought mdm. ernie loads of pink stuff, mdm. nabilah a topshop belt (exotic?) and the list goes on.. anyway, the point is why do we celebrate teacher's day? is it some random day that a rich bourgeois aristocrat who is a teacher who decieded to create it so at to receive some love and tlc? or does it have a moral sob story behind it so that all us kiddies will wisen up and be good? anyway(i said that like 4 times already), i don't really care. haha, i was diverting to give an effect for my higher order thinking. wink.

anyway, heres a good piece of gossip on the grapevine. actually fact, cause i got it off first hand, haha, anyway (6). ms. l*is, told me a little secret about mr. i-am-a-son-of-a-raj. according to recent reports, mr. i-am-a-son-of-a-raj is said to be a-son-of-a-raj and possesive. even though he and ms. l*is are not in a relationship, he is freaking her out cause he treats her like her "boo", and that she doesn't like him anymore as a friend. platonic just doesn't seem so right, does it?

anway, at the centre of this controversy, is the scandal involving mr. germ-an, mimi, and moi. Moi, in a flurry of emotions after recieving the terrible news, inflicted, albiet accidentally, a grave injury unto mr. germ-an by mistaking him for mimi. Oh, the horror. Anyway, thats about as much contoversy and excitement there is in my life, besides the sad little love boat in the tumultous sea of kellies and nickies and all the other ies.

sigh, our life sucks. exams are in two weeks and my mom is chasing me to bed cause it's teacher's day tommorrow. can't you tell how excited i am?oh actually, it's teacher's day now, so here's wishing all happy teacher's day.

PS: 1. whats so happy about teacher's day?
2. that said, i feel a little guilty not writing any cards for the teachers on our last teacher's day in VS, but then again nevermind.

2006-06-25T05:20:00.000-07:00

in a blink of the eye, school is back.
in less than twelve hours, i will be having to peel my butt off the bed to go to school, and the vicious cycle of routine will begin again. after a week of dance practice, we finally performed yesterday at Serenade to resounding crowd of five hundred. got my contact lens from nicole. it will probably last two weeks more, and i guess i might continue after that. okay, back to serenade. it was kinda and still quite surreal, five hundred! anyway, moving on, its still the last day of the holidays, and thus signifying my birthday which is in on wed. so all you people out there, you have three days to get me my present. well, i guess its gonna be a drag to go to school. now i shall go off and prepare myself mentally by watching tv.

2006-05-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

Stop complaining ; You don't even know me-

Today was such a horrible day, especially in school! The stupid LeeHwaPaik (LHY), and the stupidity of her ignorance really irked me so much, that i gotta blog about it! Its started like any normal day, but as we stepped into the hall, we were greeted by an extremely irritating voice. As we sat down, and were beginning to check the number of pages, i bent down to get a sip of my ice lemon tea. Then, i started to check the number of pages. That was when everything went wrong. LHY, an extremely old grumpy witch started to scream to CLOSE the BOOKLET, lest we get a head start to look at the questions. At first, i didn't think anything about it, as i was innocently starting to check the paper. Then she shouted again, and i looked up to look at what the commotion was. She was three tables away, staring at me, eyes daggers and all, as if i had severely offended. At that moment, i felt as if everyone was staring at me. I felt such an urge to just stand and shout that i was just checking the bloody paper. But no, me being the "gentleman", sat right there at my seat deciding to return the stare. Then we proceeded to start the paper. Then she started to wail in her unearthly voice. Don't write on the topo map with pens, she screamed again. Are we in a prison, i thought to myself, again ignoring her voice as i was using a pencil. Then she screamed again, and by instinct i looked up ; she was staring at me again. I looked at my pencil, and realised it looked like a pen. Stop jumping to conclusions, so badly wanted to shout, but being in an exam, i sat right there, fuming, but sitting there. Decidedly, she has become my no.1 public enemy! But then again, its just my speculation.

2006-05-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

-Jem, now can? -
Well, 11 days to the end and i think i've done not bad thus far, maybe except for today's paper, Physics. My dad was in such a crappy mood yesterday, kinda affected my studying. Mid-life crisis? Anyway, regarding my previous post, i didn't say the girls were chasing me, Suresh. But there's one really wierd KC girl who Jason idiotly set me up by telling her that he knew me. Aargh, not wanting to be mean, she's quite the epitome of ugliness and wannabeness. Its not that she is physically ugly (i'm not such a surface person) but i just get this vibe that just reeks UGLY! She's really desperate too. There i was sitting in front of the bus, innocently listening to my music and drowning myself in my own world, when she just had to wake me up by asking Jason to tell me to go sit with her! And you know what? Her excuse , to cover the desperado spirit, was that she wanted to give some nice chocolates! I'm not falling into your trap, you ugly witch! She told Jason that she liked me, and i don't even know her! Frankly, i was irked by the incident and how people just go by the surface to feel "love". Futhermore, Jason told me she had quite a few ex-s, so we were contemplating whether she was really rich or something. Either that or they were blind.
Well, enough of flaming her and on to something more cheery. I just got a new MP3 player, actually it was last week but yah, WOOHOO! Its a Sony Walkman something 1000, and i bought for such a bargain - $283! Haha, now Jun Jie wants get want too. But still, i had to flex my persuasive muscles to talk my parents into buying another of their "useless and unimportant" stuff. Anyway, i got it in the end, downloaded songs from Timmy's computer (aargh, he got techno!) and now rocking my study table away! But its such a battery parasite, like i have to charge almost everyday, and they said 20hr playback. Nonsense. But i still like it loads, unless i get a IPod Video, but hey, you can't always get everything.
Its 2.41, gotta go mug for Geograpy soon. Wanted to go Jem's house to study, byt after yesterday's almost non-existent studying at his house, we decided to go our separate study ways, till Sunday. So Geography, here i come!

2006-02-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

When Was The Last Time You Were Praised?
When Was The Last Time You Praised Somebody?
When? Wow, this two sentences flashed at the start of the movie, I Not Stupid 2, has definitely impacted me! Prior to watching it, i was highly skeptical of the movie, and more precisely of Jack Neo's work. BUT, after watching i'm a staunch supporter of the movie! Not only did i laugh my heart out, i cried! It was one of the most engaging,accurate and touching movies i've ever seen! It potrayed teenagers so well, that i really felt whatever the characters were feeling. Though it appeals more to the teenage angst, its an extremely good sounding board and eductional experience for the adults too.besides the tons of hilarious scenes, the heart-rending performance by the actors, especially young Jerry, was simply Oscar-winning! Their ability to connect with the audience was simply awesome, and the movie is a definite must-watch. in comparison, the much lauded movie, Memoirs of a Geisha, just pales.though a generally good movie for the less artistically and mentally inclined, the movie comes of as an art-house wannable flick, that fails to provoke the audience to see through the eyes of Sayuri, the lead actress. lacking of emotion, the movie with all its Hollywood stars, is too much of a actor showcase of their "beauty", showing little depth into the life of a geisha. the movie is saved by Michelle Yeoh as Mahema, who plays a kind and experienced geisha. however, the movie does shock with the horrors of a geisha's life, that to be the top dog, you've to sacrifice everything, even love. the only good thing that i've recieved from the movie is respect for the geishas, for their sheer determination and mental and emotional strength. overall, i'm quite confident (and patriotic) enough to say that I Not Stupid 2 trumps Memoirs of a Geisha in almost every aspect, expect maybe its aesthetic quality and star factor.

2006-01-25T01:54:00.000-08:00

i just watched a really heart-wrenching+horrendous+joyous movie, Hotel Rwanda. the movie focuses mainly on the racial discrimination between two classes of the same race, the Hutus and the Tutsis. Before 1994, Rwanda (which is in Africa) was controlled by the Belgians. They had picked the fairer and longed nose Rwandians, because they looked more like them. These were the Tutsi, the elite of Rwanda and ruled Rwanda. However, when the Belgians left, they (STUPIDLY) left the Hutus in charge. The Tutsi who have long been told they were better because of their lighter skin color, had always looked down on the Hutus, although they were all of the same race. This therefore led to a major civil war, with the Hutus wanting revenge on the Tutsi. The main lead, Paul is a Hutu and a hotel manager. The movie shows how, he "adopts" and cares for almost a thousand people in his hotel, defending time and time again against the armed Hutus. The emotional and mental burdens placed upon him is tremendous, as in his hands are placed with mainly Tutsis which were wanted by the Hutus rebels. what i felt most heart-wrenching was the fact that almost 80,000 thousands innocent Tutsis were killed in the civil war and how the UN had BETRAYED Rwanda in its most needed hour. What was horrendous was how the human nature could be so vengeful and so cruel, and because of a STUPID mistake by an external force, unleash a genocide on Rwanda.the joyous part came mainly in the form on how Paul managed to save 800 Tutsi and ophans, and kept the people together admist all the madness. what touched me was when Paul , though had immunity to leave the war-stricken country, chose to stay behind to care and protect the people he had taken in. the story shows on how love prevails, and that even times of need, all you need is a little hope and determination. like what Mr Low said, its all about self-fulfilling prophecies. if Paul had told himself that they would not make it, the 800 survivors would have definitely been chopped to pieces by the Hutus rebels.therefore, what i've learnt from this movie is to always stay optomistic (and alert), and that a friend in need is a friend indeed! i give the movie ***** for its potraying of unity,love,hope,courage and impartialty.

2006-01-23T06:43:00.000-08:00

School's in, and lazy butt out. Can't believe that i'm finally 16 and taking my Os at the end of the year! In a crazily fast blink of an eye, the whole of sec3 has been swallowed up and big 4 has appeared. Coming back to school for the 10th time has still somehow retained a bit of its ability to excite for a mere ten seconds before plunging you into the pits of study hell. For now, i feel extremely motivated (experts say its only temporary) to do uber well this year and score well (hopefully) in all the exams. Almost the whole world has asked to do some form of new year's resolution or another, and i think maybe this year i shall blog them down.(with one star being the easiest to acheieve, and five the hardest)
(i)Get 10 points and below for prelim [*****]
(ii)Getting my iPod (mini/nano/photo/???) [* for difficulty deciding]
(iii)Finally getting a pair of Converse shoes [* again difficulty deciding ]
(iv)Getting a dog (preferbly a Siberian Husky) [******]
(v)Staying without a girl until the last day of my Os [***]
(vi)Go out lesser - max 20. hrs? [***]
(vii)Spend more time with my dearest blog [******]
(viii)Laughing in your face [ ]

well, coming to a new year is always exciting, but living the rest of the year is even more so. hopefully, at the end of 06. i can honestly tell myself i've achieved all my goals (how cheesy!)...say cheese! its for rememberance =)